Oh! Man - I looked at your FR profile and you’re asking me a question? I’m not nearly as equipped as you are at the use of words. Great profile...
I also cringe when the use of “I” and “me” is used improperly and I learned probably from school days which were many moons ago that if a sentence doesn’t work with “I”, don’t use it. I have no idea what the rule is...but I do know it’s wrong when I hear it and I hear it every day on news programs.
“The movie was upsetting to my sister and I”. Will it work if you say, “The movie was upsetting to I?” No? Then you want to say, “The movie was upsetting to my sister and me.”
I think a good ear for such things is as important as knowing the rules of the game....so I go by sound. If it doesn’t sound right, change it!! It’s worked for my 80+ years and I’m not about to change it...
This will work to muddy the waters:
https://www.thoughtco.com/confusing-i-and-me-1857097
~~~~~All you have to do is leave out the second object. Look over these examples, and you’ll see it’s really simple.
You might be tempted to say:
WRONG: “Would you explain that to John and I?”
But then, when you omit the other object, you’ll have:
WRONG: “Would you explain that to I?”
Now that just sounds silly. Try this:
RIGHT: “Would you explain that to John and me?”
RIGHT: “Would you explain that to me?”~~~~~~
Yes, that’s the determinant I usually use. Maybe it’s harder to do that speaking on the fly than in writing, as the problem doesn’t seem to pop up so much there. I don’t know how I’d do in public speaking regarding I/me, but if it were poorly, I’d be in good company. LOL
And thanks for the kind words.