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The big disaster of Cannes arrives, and it’s almost 4 mind- and ass-numbing hours of twerking
AV Club ^ | May 24, 2019 | A.A. Dowd

Posted on 05/25/2019 4:43:06 AM PDT by C19fan

One party animal on screen tells another that “It’s the end of everything,” and I finally lose count of the number of films at this festival that have vocalized the fatalism of our time, the nagging feeling that we all may be hurtling toward a point of destructive conclusion. Uttered during one of the last screenings on my last day at Cannes, his words also remind me, in a smaller sense, that another surreal, jam-packed year on the Croisette is drawing to a close. Am I melancholy? I’d feel more so in the moment if I weren’t hoping for a third meaning in the line that sadly doesn’t arrive, a promise of imminent reprieve from the film containing it, instead of something closer to a midway marker in what I can now safely identify as the endurance test of this rapidly elapsing fortnight. The programmers, in their infinite sadism, saved the worst (and the longest) for close to last. Mektoub, My Love: Intermezzo (Grade: D) is a baffling passion project whose cruelly protracted runtime is eclipsed only by the monumentally tedious way it fills it. For an interminable three and a half hours, the Tunisian-French director Abdellatif Kechiche numbed our asses (and minds) with nothing but ass: a parade of gyrating, jiggling flesh, belonging to a group of hot but terminally boring French twentysomethings on summer vacation, burning a seemingly endless evening at a nondescript nightclub where the film—after a brief and comparatively enthralling prologue on the beach—strands us for its shapeless entirety.

(Excerpt) Read more at film.avclub.com ...


TOPICS: TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: porn
This director released another porn movie a few years ago at Cannes. This guy should move to the San Fernando Valley. Maybe I will check it out when it released on PornHub.
1 posted on 05/25/2019 4:43:06 AM PDT by C19fan
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To: C19fan
...Tunisian-French director Abdellatif Kechiche numbed our asses (and minds) with nothing but ass: a parade of gyrating, jiggling flesh...

I can see the same thing whenever I ride the NYC subway!

2 posted on 05/25/2019 5:00:43 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (A joke: Comey,Brennan and Lynch walk into a Barr...)
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To: Gay State Conservative

Senior Frog’s in Nassau. Same thing. Drunk 20-somethings gyrating to music.


3 posted on 05/25/2019 5:35:29 AM PDT by rstrahan
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To: C19fan
Idiocracy..... we have arrived.


4 posted on 05/25/2019 5:49:33 AM PDT by UCANSEE2 (Lost my tagline on Flight MH370. Sorry for the inconvenience.)
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To: C19fan

Cannes is an industry only event. If you are among the great unwashed you can only gawk at the parade of A thru Z level celebs and maybe eat at some overpriced place. They probably screen more flicks than aother festival but it’s to get distribution deals throughout the world.. No doubt the level of artsy fartsy crap is higher there than anywhere else. This “reviewer” deserves every bit of mind numbing bilge they throw at him.


5 posted on 05/25/2019 5:49:52 AM PDT by xp38
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To: C19fan
IMHO, there is only one Cannes film worth seeing.


6 posted on 05/25/2019 6:04:17 AM PDT by C210N (You can vote your way into Socialism; but, you have to shoot your way out of it.)
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To: C19fan

They ALL sense a spiritual vacuum, the product of a 70 year war on Christianity.

Islam rushes into the void. Even Muzzies who weren’t so religious in their home countries come here, sense it, and then become MORE religious, not less so. And that is why many of them shove it in our faces, because they sense that WE tacitly acknowelege that our cultural sun is setting.

They are reacting to something very real, something that affects us also, hugely.

THAT is why you have so many people creating their own little weird substitute religions; could be yoga, global warming, UFOs, Q, different aspects of nutrition, veganism, etc.

The underpinning of western civ is CHRISTIANITY, and the tribe that rules us has put out the word that Christianity is not cool.

And the suckers are imbibing that message.


7 posted on 05/25/2019 6:09:56 AM PDT by gaijin
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To: gaijin

Christ will NEVER be defeated. His glorious appearing is on its way, and “we wait patiently for it”. That’s all us believers need to know.

“Jesus Christ and him crucified” looks like the biggest failure of all time to the unbelieving world, but to us “Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God”!


8 posted on 05/25/2019 6:42:07 AM PDT by avenir
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To: UCANSEE2

In a double feature wjth this year’s comedy hit “Ow My Balls!”


9 posted on 05/25/2019 6:48:44 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: BenLurkin

10 posted on 05/25/2019 6:51:49 AM PDT by gaijin
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To: BenLurkin

11 posted on 05/25/2019 6:53:37 AM PDT by gaijin
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To: C19fan

I think South Park said it best about their parody of the Sundance film festival. “Who wants to watch a three hour movie about gay cowboys eating pudding?”

But one little boy’s girlfriend drags him to see one of the movies and sure enough, it was of gay cowboys eating pudding.

On the plus side, there are other film festivals, that while often gross and tasteless, are far more entertaining:

The Troma film festival, “Tromadance”
Mile High Horror Film Festival
(a whole bunch of animated festivals)


12 posted on 05/25/2019 7:34:02 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy
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To: C19fan

It sounds like a movie about North African males in the rut. It could be an episode of “Wild Kingdom”


13 posted on 05/25/2019 7:36:21 AM PDT by PGR88
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To: Gay State Conservative

Sounds like a preview of the dems next presidential convention led by Buttinthegig, sucking Schiff, Swallowswell,, and sucky Schumer. MUST NOT FORGET MAXINE THE MOUTH, Pelosi the puke and HIllary the cuchholed.


14 posted on 05/25/2019 3:17:33 PM PDT by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
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