I learned years ago to make our own holiday dinners. There’s less drama and we can enjoy our favorite traditional recipes and the meal is served at noon rather than hours after everyone has died of starvation. The turkey goes into the oven at 7 am and the dinner bell is rung at noon. The dressing is the kind we like. The sides are the ones we like. The pies are the ones we like. No fuss, no muss and we’re happy and relaxed.
If you must make an appearance elsewhere, just stop in for coffee.
I’m 67 years old, and that whole time, when we have a holiday meal, we leave everything out, so people can graze throughout the rest of the day, and not one person has ever gotten sick. My ex mother in law was the exception. She would put everything up and lock it away in the fridge as soon as the meal was finished. I like our way better.