Thank you, Madam! If more women would post on these endless threads, I think the guys would retreat to their safe rooms. Or, maybe, the mods would pay more attention.
There was a common thread I noticed with the abused women I worked with. The men had spent years viciously attacking the women physically and/or mentally, completely beating them down to soul-less, timid, pitiful beings. Then when a wife finally collected a tiny bit of self respect — enough to decide to leave or fight back — the man tells everyone, “Oh, yeah; she’s crazy.” Well, sure; she’s crazy NOW. You made her that way.
Where I lived then the police were as bad as the abusers, and almost always took the men’s side. The whole scenario was so disturbing that I had to find another volunteer outlet.