Posted on 01/16/2019 7:44:26 PM PST by GrandJediMasterYoda
I Want Kids But My Husband Is Twice My Age
MARRIED Melinda and Larry Mikla have an unconventional age gap in their relationship - of 30 years. The lovestruck pair get stares everywhere they go, from passers-by who think they are dad and daughter, or worse, a granddaughter and her grandpa. The pair met when retired police officer Larry was the first responder to a minor traffic incident involving Mindy’s car in Ohio, USA, in August 2012. Now the couple are trying for a baby, but don’t know if it will be possible due to Larry having a vasectomy 18 years ago.
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“...and lists multiple attributes of these woken to avoid.”
I’m guessing you meant “women” - but it works with “woken” as well today - with I believe the term “woke” used to identify people that are awake to the “truth” of liberal ideals. (Although I’ve heard it in conservative terms of truth as well, so I’m not sure.)
It reminds me of a local retired FBI guy so old he can barely walk
The old man replied, “So what? If she dies, she dies.”
I’m a fan of McPhee and sad to see her choice of a mate.
I hope you’re trolling, but fear you’re not.
There is nothing more miserable than a failed
marriage. You wouldn’t want to live in one,
I suspect, for yourself.
bookmark
I’m guessing that his vasectomy is as much of a factor as his age in their inability to have kids.
So? Just make sure the insurance policy is paid
You’re good to go
I will grant that is a factor, but not the only one. Sometimes a person cares more about who the other person is, separate from age.
As long as they are both adults, they are free to be married.
I never married because, being a Christian, and in ministry, I would not date non-Christian women. The Christian ones I knew and pursued wanted the Bad Boys. I was always a Good Guy - never drunk, never drugged - and they apparently thought that made me boring, and no challenge.
Yes, that is a problem in the church, and no, that does not make me aligned with the current feminist mania. (I have been shooting since Grade 3, I have flown a plane, and I have sky-dived. I may not be a jock, but I ain’t a wimp.)
Too many women have an unhealthy desire to redeem a man - from bad faults, or perhaps, bad health. They want their love to save a man. I have seen it and seen it in youth ministry.
For a Christian, that is dangerously close to idolatry. All men and women need a savior, but a woman cannot of herself alone redeem a man.
I have studied diet and nutrition, and practiced what I preached. I am in better health than many men half my age. (I am fit: 12% body fat and 29” waist.) If a younger woman wanted me, and I wanted her, I would not hesitate to marry her.
And I would not care one whit what others thought about it.
You’re projecting. Just give it up.
You are confusing religious marriage with the State-administered, currently very one-sided, marriage "contract".
I could see it being viable to have a religious marriage ceremony, but NOT sign the State's marriage contract paperwork. See if she is willing to go for that. If she won't, walk away.
I guess that I’m in a marriage where I’m the old one and we had kids late: my daughter was born when I turned 60 and my son was born when I was 62. They’re 13 and 11 now and we’re going strong. My wife and I have been married 21 years now and we have an excellent marriage in every respect and I am genuinely enjoying this chance to be a good father again.
I'm likely the only male on this forum who'll say it, yet I'll say it anyway: He should've known better for a whole plethora of reasons. Perhaps he let his ego and his little head do the thinking for his big head and still, he should've known better.
Go ahead, flame away. I've got my flame retardant suit on.
Or more simple explanations:
Daddy Issues or Gold digging.
I was going to respond to your earlier post and say that if you outlaw adultery you need to also make the withholding of physical intimacy grounds for divorce, but I see you already were thinking along those lines.
I am amazed at how many married men I talk to that rarely, if ever, have any kind of sexual activity with their wives. And it’s not that the men are unwilling, the wives just refuse or make excuses not to.
I nipped that in the bud early in my marriage. Before we got married our preacher had us right out a list of our expectations and share it with each other. On my list was sexual activity at least twice a week. Well she was not living up to that within a year of us being married. I kept track for one month, sat down and discussed it with her, and told her I would divorce her if it didn’t improve. I’ve had no problems with the amount of sexual activity in my marriage since then.
In my case, I was married before for a lengthy period to someone who changed after marriage to become an overcontroller: everything at all had to be her way - everything. I had a busy career, so I let her run things at home including all the finances.
The big problems came up early when we lost a baby at birth (she already had two young sons from a previous marriage, so this would have been our daughter together). She had her tubes tied while she was in the hospital without consulting me and our relationship really took a dive after that. We stayed married 16 miserable years more after that and when the stepsons entered college, we separated and then divorced. It was also at that point that I finally found out that the finances had been grossly mishandled and I was deeply in debt.
I had several years alone and resolved never to get married again but met my wife to be 6 years later and found out that she was 26 years younger. We dated but held off until two years later until we were sure that this would work and her parents would be OK with me.
It's 21 years after that and we are very happy, have a very healthy, happy and respectful marriage.
It probably wouldn't work for everyone but I feel that this union is a gift from God.
Don’t argue with these guys. They’ll double down and if you are a woman posting, they’ll be shortly calling you a lesbian or an old maid with cats. Some of these fellows are sick in the head.
You serious, Clark?
“I’m not having kids because I don’t want one to inherit this mental illness. “
Go ahead and have ‘em. They probably won’t be your’s anyway
That’s great, you said good father again? You had kids from another marriage? I don’t think 62 is old at all, your kids are already 13 and 11. Steve Martin, Jeff Goldblum, David Letterman all had their first kid when they were already in their 60s and Mick Jagger is still pumping them out in his mid 70s, matter of fact he’s a great grandfather now and he’s still producing kids, the last kid he has was born 2016, freakin amazing. I always like to point to Jagger when I talk to people about the importance of exercise, it’s it so so so so vitally important when you get older otherwise things go downhill very very fast, the guy is coming on to 80 and he’s still doing 3 hour concerts running all over the stage, it’s astounding and they are doing yet another tour in April..........
First, a complete response to these questions requires a clear definition of what one calls "marriage material". Modern feminist culture seems to demand that the definition be exactly the same for both. I'm not entirely sure that this is correct. I think men and women have different roles to fill. That being said...
"Almost all women" is going a bit too far. The many, many wonderful females who are excellent finds are typically found, and taken off the market, pretty quickly... and in any case are ignored and forgotten by the Harpy Class that dominates the MSM Misinformation machine. They and their husbands are living happy lives, and laughing at stories like these.
As for "Most men"... women are the civilizing force in the species. Women have the drive to make a nest, and nurture their loved ones. Men are driven to protect and provide for their loved ones. Men can mostly do so without marriage. Women are much harder pressed to fully satisfy their natural role, without a spouse (or dependence on government or extended family or sugar daddy or whatever other provider).
It seems to be getting clearer as time goes by that Western Culture is changing, and the forces driving that change are also attempting to change the expected roles for men and women in relationships. The behaviors and personalities that seem to be on the rise in younger males and females today seem to disqualify both as "marriage material" by our older standards... but I would venture to say that it is harder for younger men to revert back to their protect/provide role than it is for younger women to revert back to nesting/nurturing, simply because men have less of a reason to do so, unless and until women provide their role. Men can easily get by with the simple hook-up culture, and enjoy independence and random rutting. It's lonely and not very fulfilling... but it is not difficult. Women, however, are more dependent, because it is a far greater challenge, and incredibly stressful, to fulfill both roles alone, nurturing AND providing, without having a protective provider attached and available... and so, until the drive to have children is removed from women (which would be just about the worst thing possible for the human species), women are the ones who need to become proper "marriage material" before they can expect men to snap out of their natural rutting behaviors, get civilized, and become proper "marriage material" themselves.
Sooo.... "Ladies first", shall we say.
Just my opinion. YMMV.
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