I had a student in Jr High whose family came from Pakistan. She was bright and pleasant. Her mother, a doctor, was Pakistani. I always worried that she’d be sent back to get married. Don’t know what happened to her. But I think of her when I read stories like this.
“But I think of her when I read stories like this.”
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My husband related a story about a personal experience that took place while he was in college after his first stint in the military.
Where talking almost 35-38 years ago.... a young Muslim girl was in one of his math classes. Apparently she was extremely smart...I mean EXTREMELY SMART....
She brought him some home-made cookies and they talked about a lot of math stuff... she gave him her home # at some point...
Shortly after that he called her at the house to see if he could meet with her to study about an upcoming test...
Well, one of her brothers answered the phone. Merciful Maude. What took place next blew his mind... Several other brothers apparently got on the line asking him why he was calling, how he met her, how he got her number.... you can imagine the drill...
And... she dropped out of college... as in he never saw her again on campus... he said he couldn’t understand what had happened...
This was before he even understood about Islam. It’s one of those moments that haunts him...knowing now how the women are viewed and used.... he thinks she probably thought since she was in America she was going to be granted the freedom of a relationship, even if it was only a relationship based on studying math...
I told him that it wasn’t his fault nor was it her fault. She was being groomed to be a wife worthy of a good marriage to some Muslim. He mentions her every now and then, wondering if she’s even alive.
He figures if he never called she may have been able to stay in college and be spared having to go back to her homeland. I remind him that she was under the control of her brothers because in her faith she was still property. With her father dead, her brothers more or less owned her.
She was only in college to enable herself to earn a good income in the homeland to be handed over to her brothers. Back then, there was no question at all: She *would* stay single and give them the monies she earned until they saw fit to get her married.
If she’s looking for companionship and reached out to an American who was prior military they were probably freaking out and figured it was time to just get her married and by that I mean married in the homeland to someone of their faith.
Poor girl.