Submitted for the protection of the village.
Rule number one, and the most important rule of them all:
Never, EVER defend. ALWAYS attack.
He who defends has already lost. Make the troll defend.
Do not let the troll choose the battlefield. Make him fight on YOUR battlefield. If the troll initiates a line of attack, change the subject.
Change targets, avenues of attack, and , if you have mastered them, change gung fu styles constantly. Confuse the opponent and keep them off balance. Do not allow them to stand with feet firmly planted. While they defend one point of attack, you have already moved on to another.
If you find their squishy soft spot, stay on target until their head explodes. Now is the time to focus. Be relentless.
If they cuss you or threaten you, you win. That is a sign that their head has exploded. Rejoice in your victory.
Never show anger. EVER. Make the enemy show his anger.
You are playing to the mob. The troll knows this. Make the mob your greatest weapon. Make the mob laugh at him. Laughter is kryptonite to the troll. They will flee the battlefield AFTER their head explodes. Rejoice in your victory.
Keep the troll's focus upon you if your gung fu is superior. Do not allow him to engage a weaker opponent. If your gung fu is inferior, do not engage. You will lose against a skilled opponent.
If your gung fu is weak, do not attempt to assist a master. You will only get in the way and weaken the master. And he may lose.
If the troll is damaging an innocent, and you are skilled, attempt to draw fire upon yourself. The innocent must be protected and avenged.
Know your limitations. A good rule of thumb is; if not confident in your gung fu, do not feed the trolls. This is not always possible, and when not, choose your greatest champion.
Be gracious in victory. It is enough to win. Accept surrender if offered and allow the enemy his face.
These are the mysterious ways of North Shao Lin Troll style gung fu. All cannot be revealed, nor should it be.
Bag Tzu
The Art of Trolling
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