Dear Miss Grammar Lady,
I’ve always been taught, that when using the word “iffen” in a sentence which also references paternity, that that reference must be the word, “daddy”, whereas, use of the word, “father”, would be more typical, in a case in which the word, “if” is used. Please advise speedily, as hundreds, maybe dozens of enquiring grammar Nazis, are hanging, as it were, in all probability, suspended, in fervent anticipation, or your answer! (A short lesson on the overuse, that is to say, redundancy of quotation marks, commas, and exclamation marks!!!, will follow)!
You’ins not from ‘round here are you’se?