Who invites persons to their funeral?
Certainly no one down here in the south. One finds someone has died and it would be a personal decision to attend the funeral, the burial, or both. To ‘be invited’ is just not done. To be asked to speak or a pallbearer is not exactly an invitation, only asking for a duty to be fulfilled.
Of course, DC creatures have their own set of rules and etiquette under which they live.
I have been asked to be a pallbearer several times. Always surprised how heavy the casket is.
The Maverick was so PC he was a RINO extraordinaire,it was a Rat in elephant clothing. He sucked worse than any Rat ...
Ditto here. Usually the deceased makes any arrangements for their funeral while they are alive. If this is not possible, it is usually the next of kin's or family's responsibility to arrange the funeral. There are two parts to consider when one is put away, the funeral ceremony and the burial ceremony. When the funeral is announced, anyone who knew the deceased is free to attend. I've never heard of anyone compiling an invitation list.
The funeral ceremony usually takes place at the funeral home or the church of the deceased and is then followed by a funeral procession to the cemetery where the deceased will be buried. There is no invitation list and anyone who knew the deceased (mostly friends and family members) are free to attend, pay their last respects, and go to the burial afterwards unless it is "for family members only".
As previously mentioned above, some funeral arrangements such as who will preach (say few words about the deceased), what music will be sung or played (if any), and any other special requests the deceased may desire are determined beforehand. Some people desire no funeral ceremony at all (broke, no friends, and for many other reasons), only a grave-side burial ceremony or cremation. Others plan theirs down to the nuts and bolts. It is not unusual for them to select their burial clothes or to be buried in their 1957 Chevy convertible (top down) with a bottle of Jack Daniels.
The burial ceremony may be a closed burial at the cemetery with only family members present or it may be open to anyone who wishes to attend. Those who attend the funeral are not obligated to attend the burial. Many times people chose to skip the funeral and attend only the burial or vice versa.
I have never heard of anybody attending a cremation although someone (usually a family member) will pickup the ashes and dispose of them according to the deceased wishes. Anyway, that's how we generally do funerals down my way. And like you said certain thing are just not done at funeral in the South.
Of course there are exceptions and unexpected outcomes. When they buried (my Dad's) Uncle Walter (I was 6 or 7 y.o.), he was to be given a military funeral (Spanish-American war veteran) with all the pomp and circumstance stuff. Before the ceremony began we noticed the crowd was exceptionally large for an old man who had been living in Grandma's spare bedroom for the last few years of his life. To make a long story short, before he died Uncle Walter told Grandma he had been married 4 times and to let the ex-wives and his children know where and when the funeral was to be. Grandma did, but Uncle Walter neglected to tell her about the 2 or 3 to whom he was still legally married or any of his common-law wives. Over the years Uncle Walter wives had established contacts with one another with a common goal (but for different reasons) of finding if Uncle Walter was still alive and cavorting about. It turns out, Uncle Walter had been hiding from 11 or 12 wives and an unknown number of children over the years. And just about all of them showed up at the funeral (to pay their last respects of course). As we left it turned into a circus. Some were kissing and hugging and others were cursing and fighting as they introduced themselves to each other. I'm glad the military was there to keep law and order because Dad and I escaped before the funeral home hauled him away. I still don't know where they dumped or buried the body. Only Grandma knew and she never told anybody.