I’m like you. I might be willing to front $5k to $10k.
I think for my episode with the wife (now over 32 years), I doubt if I spent more than $2,000.
First wedding was my wife and I at a fire hall... we paid for everything ourselves, with the exception of my parents buying the booze as a wedding gift, I think we spent around $3k including her dress for the whole thing.
My second her parent’s paid (her first) , and it was very nice, but I will be honest, and it wasn’t over the top, but honestly all I thought was how much of it was really needed? A lot of money burned that day, and honestly, most of it was for her parents ( or more honestly, her mother’s sake) than anything else.
To me, all that mattered was the people who mattered were around us. I would have been quite fine, with far less. I don’t know what they spent, but I am sure it was far far more than I would have been willing to spend.
Honestly, I have 2 daughters, and I hope I am in a position to have 10 or 20k when they get married, but I’ll be honest, Daddy is far more likely to put it toward your mortgage than spend it on a 1 day party. I love them both more than life itself... but I hope I raise them well enough to know, the marriage is what matters.. not the wedding.