Posted on 07/10/2018 12:17:25 PM PDT by Simon Green
A few months before my 42nd birthday, I was out to dinner with friends and found myself seated next to a well-known older male writer.
I happened to be in the final stages of finishing a proposal for a memoir about being a single woman over 40 without children, and was inwardly marveling at the timing of our encounter. I was a fan of his. Perhaps he might offer some wisdom? Words of encouragement?
As drinks were delivered I sketched the outline of the story: No one had prepared me for how exhilarating life could be on my own. I was traveling all the time, doing what I wanted, when I wanted, released from the fear of the clock that had dogged me through my 30s. Conversely, no one had warned me of the ways in which it would actually be difficult; my mother had been very ill, for instance, and part of the book was about caring for her.
No sooner had I finished than the famous writer placed his glass firmly on the white tablecloth, leaned back and declared: Glynnis MacNicol, you have a terrible life!
Not exactly the feedback I was hoping for.
He continued: Youre all alone in the world, and have no one to help you. He turned to my friends, dramatically interrupting their conversation. Do you know how terrible this womans life is? Shes all by herself!
My friends managed to snort back their drinks, barely. But Im fine, I protested lightheartedly, hoping to return the discussion to writing. Im quite enjoying myself.
He took a disbelieving sip of his drink. I want to help you, he said. He then instructed our server to wrap up his untouched steak and insisted I take it home.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
I kinda believe her. When I was 40, I felt the same. Now 70, still feel the same.
nice. they can keep you in stripper money! :))
This reminds me of the sad story of the old woman found half eaten by her cats.
My Mom is in memory care; I visit every day & see in the dining room the victims of “dump and run” as practiced by their sorry offspring whom they seldom see.
Wife & I have no children, but two `goddaughters’, children of her best friend.
We’ll soon be 70. The one who dies first is the lucky one for not dying alone. Them’s the breaks.
Some people want kids some don’t.
Did you ever wonder if you did have a kid and someday there might be a knock on the door...
She's childless because nobody ever even thought of F'n that !!
Wow! That is amazing! We should all hope we could leave a legacy such as you surely will.
My mother was an elementary school teacher and I have had some feedback that at least a few of her students remembered her with fondness.
Oh,stop it.
I often wish there was a little FReeper camera so we could all see what we look like when insulting another’s looks.
.
What’s not to believe?
In any group, there are outliers.
If Lilith had and older, colder sister...
Good for you. Nobody cares.
Frankly my dear, I really do not give a damn.
Why does it bother her so much that no one believes her?
I am not the one trying to justify my life choices like our author.
If she wanted to be childless, then have at it.
My sister decided not to have kids, and that was her choice. OTOH, she doesn’t try to convince others how great her decision was, as though she deserves some sort of special recognition.
This is simply virtue signaling, and I for one, am not going to give her any quarter.
40s is still relatively young and being along can still be very enjoyable. By the 70s and 80s for MOST people, not all, being alone is suddenly a burden, no parents, no siblings, no kids, no nieces and/or nephews ... it’s difficult, as I’ve seen with friends who’ve made this life choice. Some do well. Not easy to judge others’ choices.
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up, eh? There's no way of guaranteeing anything.
It’s often quite fun. I hope to make an impact, not so much on a personal level like “being remembered” but in more of a “helped to shape them” way. It wouldn’t bother me if they didn’t remember me, as long as they remembered the books and movies, and what they meant. I pick stories with morals, and emphasize the morals. I’m (obviously) not interested in the modern grievance/diversity culture. I like stories that are about basic right vs wrong, and noble attributes like keeping your promises, or doing the right thing. Making wise decisions.
Oh, you know she’s all about cats and boxed wine.
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