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To: ransomnote; bagster; hoosiermama; NIKK; TEXOKIE; greeneyes; Jane Long; No_Doll_i; generally
Hey, Bags,

Some of your style may be resulting in diminishing returns.

In this sort of context, not everyone responds well, constructively, redemptively, and certainly not warmly to the sort of carrying on that might happen on a Navy ship, a fireman's team, a construction crew etc. And trying to force those resistant to such into that mold at some point not only fails to work--it is extremely off-putting to irritating to exasperating to bone marrow insulting. Then it just engenders increasing amounts of ill-will.

I suggest that you identify those who can roll with and enjoy such punches and can return them GOOD-NATUREDly and in kind--and share such ONLY with those folks.

AVOID insulting, accosting, attacking anyone's personhood--particularly if they have asked you to stop or given no indication that they enjoy such.

AND, when you are mostly chiding, deriding some action or behavior--perhaps you could be less virulent, hostile stabby in your choice of words.


And those who you are not attacking their personhood on--but 'merely' their behavior or points of view--could possibly learn to divorce their personhood from being soooo wedded to their words or perspectives so intensely that they feel slapped in the face at the slightest challenge or insult. Let Bag's crap roll off your back like water off a duck. Why give him the power to drive your emotions any direction at all?

Bags, if you were an insecure, RAD/PTSD afflicted individual who'd been squashed by others most of your life from an early age--who had a hard time holding your head up and standing tall even in a gentle kind context--and who happened to be food-addicted and overweight--your derisive words about fatties could cut to the quick.

My housemate has a heart of gold and is kind and loving even toward those who have abused him. Nevertheless, sometimes his sharp words can unwittingly hurt people. I saw him get better over the years but he still has to be careful in some groups.

He has wrestled with depression enough himself that he certainly doesn't want to NEEDLESSLY send anyone into a tailspin because of a thoughtless, flip word or sentence.

We just never know what kind of day someone is having. We don't know what debilitating background or current family relationships or work relationships are burdening folks we interact with. Let us not add to their burden but build them up as much as possible.

Some few folks can throw your junk back in your face as much as you dish it out. Please limit your harsh words to them.

Your guerrilla psych treatments are just not achieving anything good with many in this crew.

Cheers.

11 posted on 05/12/2018 11:44:22 PM PDT by JockoManning (http://www.zazzle.com/brain_truth for hats T's e.g. STAY CALM & DO THE NEXT LOVING THING)
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To: JockoManning

What a thoughtful loving statement.


25 posted on 05/13/2018 12:49:16 AM PDT by eyedigress ((Old storm chaser from the west))
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To: JockoManning
Thank you for the advice, Jocko.

With all due respect.....

Rejected.

Bagster

The Lesser Oracle

36 posted on 05/13/2018 1:03:06 AM PDT by bagster (The Bagster Alliance is insidous. The B clique is mighty.)
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