My mom abandoned me a lot but didn’t seem to know she did. She was very smart and accomplished and professional and I thought I was very proud of her. But she put me in a full day abusive preschool at age 2 so she could better care for my baby brother. She said later she thought I needed friends. Two year olds don’t need or have friends; they need mommies. Then she worked full time a lot (she did not need to work at all, my dad would have preferred she not work), and upped her work time when I was about 12. So I got into a lot of trouble and was sexually abused by an adult for years. She never picked up on the signs. She really was hands off, even though she is a generally good person. She thought parking kids in good schools and them getting good grades meant everything was fine.
Now she has Alzheimer’s and I take care of her full time and keep her very safe all the time. Safer than she ever kept me. I COULD USE A FEW HOURS ON THE SHRINK’S COUCH about now. It’s got to be good for my soul or something but it is psychically very hard.
Because of her choices, I was home every second for all 4 of my kids sometimes at a sacrifice. None of my kids have been abused and I make sure of that. The two older ones are strong people, confident in their skins.
I love my mom but it’s hard being her mom now.
Happy Mother’s Day to all FR moms! I am so very happy to be a mom!
Mother’s Day should also be National Caregiver’s Day.
What a thankless job, if ever there was one, being a caregiver.
Here’s to all the nurturers, unsung heroes, day in and day out, expressing selfless mother-love, often without much or any appreciation at all.
God bless you, Yaelle. You are a survivor and a thriver!