Hi, I’m Oprah.
I’m the spokesperson for Weight Watchers but can’t
control my weight.
I tell you how to run your marriage but I can’t commit to marriage.
I tell you how to raise your kids but I don’t have any.
I am very spiritual, but don’t go to any church or identify as Christian.
Even though I knew about Weinstein and the casting couch,
I was silent, but I support the Me Too movement.
I am racist to the core, but blacks can’t really be racist, so that doesn’t count.
I’m black and female, so I check all the boxes.
I praised Denmark for their Socialism, though I am a billionaire due to Capitalism, the economic system that allowed a dirt-poor child from Mississippi to rise to world-renowned fame and wealth.
The first time I openlyendorsed a presidential candidate it was a black one, Obama.
Before a black candidate, I was not political.
Vote for me, and I will give you transformational change.