Man you just opened up a can if worms with 100 right answers. What is the purpose of your hand load? That might narrow it down to ten answers. Relative to target practice the cheapest low power load you can use that will function in your weapon. Relative to protection, Hornady and Corbon make some of the best. Hornady has some exellenct loading charts that will give you performance equal their +P loads. The information is all there, buy Hornadys reloading book. A few dollars well spent.
I use 4.5 grains of red dot for 230 gr 45acp, 165 gr 40s&w, and 115 gr 9nn. Same load for all three. Just a fluke, but I find it to be accurate, clean and reliable. All bullets are total metal jacket.