Child in crisis- depression - need aadvice

[rusureitflies?]

Prayers up.

[LadyDoc]

in my prayers.

I found counseling made my son worse, because the therapist listened and agreed to everything my son told him, so my son got the idea it was okay to disobey me and even abuse me physically.

The psychiatrist saw him and said he was having adjustment reactions, and don't hospitalize him, even though I had called the cops on him twice and taken his hunting rifle away from him.

We ended up sending him to live with another family member, and eventually he grew out of the problem.

My son was adopted, and went nuts in puberty, making me wonder if he had been sexually abused in his native country, a common problem.

It depends if the teenager is angry, or psychotic, or maybe even on drugs (or acting out because of prior abuse, especially sexual abuse that sometimes the family doesn't know about).

If a psychiatrist recommends hospitalization, it might be more than adjustment or teenage anger. “depression” means nothing. Schizophrenia, manic depression, subtle brain damage causing impulse control problem are all things that need drugs. So does depression, which is common but often is the trash diagnosis for a more serious probelem. and of course, she might have borderline personality disorder, or one of the other personality disorders, which are very very hard to treat...

[jmacusa]

Yes. I suffered with clinical depression for years. I was on medication and it helped. What your child’s situation sounds like might be called bi-polar depression. Please understand that what he/she is going through is not the result of bad parenting or something like that. Depression is a medical condition, a sometimes very serious one. It’s not a failure of character or morals. By all means if hospital and medication are advised, follow through with it.

[E.G.C.]

BTTT

[Monkey Face]

I agree with rovenstinez: That young person needs to be LOVED, and the best way to do that is spending time with him, showing him you care, are interested and are willing to do what is necessary to bring him back into the world.

In the meantime, try some religious experiences like visiting cathedrals or missions or neighborhood churches. Keep Bibles handy and ask what he knows about the life of Christ.

And yes, pray, with full intent, having faith that your prayers will be answered. Remember though, that trials are given to us to make us stronger for something else. Maybe even to help other people.

In the meantime, I will add some prayers for you all.

[novemberslady]

Prayers for direction
and for the comforting of this family
...that God sends them peace in the eye of their storm

[etabeta]

All my prayers for your family. God bless.

[BykrBayb]

Looks to me like you have plenty of good suggestions here, and you seem to have a good handle on what to do. Your family is in my prayers.

[Wuli]

I do not see enough in what we have been told, nor feel expert enough to make such a clinical diagnosis; nor would I presume to.

[yldstrk]

I have family members and in laws diagnosed with it, I am exhausted from contending with it, disgusted with “community mental health centers” and if you catch it early there is now injectable long term medicine to deal with it. Get this kid to a shrink asap.

[yldstrk]

God created doctors and medicine too, hello.

[annalex]

Lord Jesus Christ, drive the demons out of Thy child servant and give guidance to the parents.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, amen.

[Wuli]

Not my kid.

And if I was I’d get a clinical diagnosis from a psychiatrist before I’d accept drugging my kid for it.

[yldstrk]

Right, not sure it’s possible to drug without a doctor.....

[captmar-vell]

Prayers

[rdl6989]

Prayers up.

[infool7]

I would like to pass on thanks from myself and on behalf of newnhdad for all of your advice and prayers. I was in such a rush yesterday that I forgot to mention that we were on our way to visit my Mom (91 March 17^th) in the ER since yesterday morning for dehydration as she is recovering from a fall after missing the last step coming down the stairs last week. She is already out of the hospital and doing well.

You can find updates from newnhdad here:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/3636833/posts?page=16#16

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/3636833/posts?page=53#53

Thanks you and to all who made recommendations. The outside activities stopped about two years ago when the scouts and church groups transitioned from elementary age to older kids. A lot of the friends made the transition okay but not my child. I felt helpless when I was working 16 hours and not driving to the meetings and participating in the activities myself. At first, I figured hormones, growth spurts, normal teenaged stuff but this has been different than most of my friends have experienced with their kids. My wife has been near useless lately, I personally think she emotionally checked out once she got an ear full a few weeks ago.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/3636833/posts?page=88#88

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers, may God Bless each of you and your families with strength and courage in your own personal struggles.

[aMorePerfectUnion]

I felt helpless when I was working 16 hours

And that may be at the root of the issue - a cry for the attention you were not giving... Think about it.

[lysie]

Thanks for the update. Prayers continue for newnhdad’s family and your Mom.

[newnhdad]

Yes, it has kept me up at night even before this all started. As parents, you have an instinct that something isn’t right and I had that for the past few years.
I just hope I’m not too late.