It sounds like she had “border line personality” disorder. I know that sounds like psycho babble but there are a lot of youtube videos on the subject. Gaslighters try to create a alternative world but are very deliberate and cunning. BPD personalities already have distorted view of themselves and situations.
After two years of being completely immersed in all research I could find on NPD and other cluster B personality disorders, I can confidently say she was full on narcissistic personality disorder with heavy comorbidity in antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder and hyper-sexual personality disorder.
To go along with that, she was also an alcoholic. This woman was a nightmare and I eventually had to file a restraining order to escape with my sanity.... And maybe my life.
Persons who have never experienced a relationship with one of these people cannot begin to understand emotional pain they can inflict. This narcopath is also extremely reactive and violent as well as paranoid and sadistic. As I said, she is at least a malignant narcissist if not the worst.... A dark Triad personality.