With bowing and singing to levy a fee,
I'll give you good verse -- and believe me sincere,
When I wish you long life -- and a happy New-Year.
News-Boys just like Lawyers, will promise you fair,
They'll give for your money, their Lingo so rare --
And I, (lawyer like) though the best of the throng,
"Full costs" mean to "charge" for my excellent song.
Three days had I labour'd -- and in verbage sublime,
I'd scribbed nine sheets -- but the Devil a rhyme
Would appear in the whole -- so all in a huff,
I sent to the flames a whole volume of stuff,
As smooth, at the least, as that lullaby trash,
Which Osander has publish'd -- "to compass the cash."
Having burnt myself out -- last night much oppress'd,
I went to my garret and soon was at rest;
Not thinking, at all, that Hobgoblins or Elves
'Bout poor little News-Boys would trouble themselves;
Or dreaming that fate had a vision design'd
To enliven my muse and enlighten my mind.
The clock sounded twelve -- And awaked by the chime,
I raised up my head -- and beheld FATHER TIME
Approaching my bed through the dusk of the night;
In one hand his scythe -- in the other a SPRIGHT!!!
Whom leading right to me -- He spoke with a leer:
"My Lads be you friends -- this is little NEW-YEAR!
"And this is YOUNG WHIG!! Now walk hand in hand
"Stick close to each other -- in unity stand --
"And then, though from Clermont again shall appear,
"A Juror like Capron, you've nothing to fear:
"For when he beholds this young Spright at your side,
"Like Peter the honest from court you shall glide --
"Your pocket unpick'd -- nor two hundred expose,
"To purchase some salve for an editor's nose --
"And then, though brave Matty his bristles should rear,
"And the honest old Sheriff in rage should appear --
"Though all the fell tribe who compose the wise club
"Where Dayton presides and holds forth to his mob,
"Should like savages yell - yet feel no alarm,
"This honest young spright will protect you from harm.
"These Gentry all worship little NEW-YEAR'S gold wand
"And its sight will unnerve every Democrats hand;
"And thus LITTLE WHIG it shall no more be said
"That you print sacred truth at the risk of your head."
He ended -- And spreading his pinions for flight,
Left little NEW-YEAR and MYSELF for the night.
And now raking open the embers, the light
A Goblin most horrible shew'd to my sight,
In stature a Dwarf -- but in visage so fell
He seem'd a dark spirit -- just issued from Hell.
He glittered in diamonds -- of gold was his wand,
And a purse of "Napoleons" was held in each hand.
He ey'd me askant -- and threw open his robe,
Displaying embroider'd a Map of the Globe.
I saw there old Germany struck from her seat,
And Russia bow'd down at an Usurper's feet,
And places where states in old Europe had stood,
We're buried, deep buried, in oceans of blood:
And o'er them I read on a label enrolled,
"The CONQUESTS of France and her Tyrant behold." --
I look'd to the south -- a new scene struck my eye --
A kingdom "in armour" -- And "freedom" the cry --
From her snow cover'd Mountains, her brave sons again,
As, erst with Pelagius, rush down to the plain;
And there fixed as fate -- with dread purpose they stand,
To die, or deliver, their dear native land.
And there I beheld from the Isles of the west,
A band all heroic -- at Freedom's behest
Rush forth to the battle -- with banners unfurl'd,
And snatch from the Tyrant a tottering world --
"And O" I exclaimed "if the councils above,
"Are guided by Justice, sweet Mercy and Love,
"Sure, sure, here the Tyrants proud arm shall be stay'd,
"His armies shall fly, and his laurels shall fade;
"The blood of such Patriots shall not flow in vain,
"And the world be preserved by the Heroes of Spain!!"
As I spoke, the fell Spright, with a grin further drew
His mantle aside -- and the West met my view --
There drawn at full length, young Columbia I spied,
But ah! how disordered, how humbled her pride --
She seemed like a young man, in vigour and bloom,
By the nostrums of quackery swept to the tomb --
She seem'd a young Giant, unnerved by strong wine,
At her length all extended, inactive, supine --
Her Ports and her Cities how desolate all,
MEMENTOS alike of her rise and her fall.
Indignant I turn'd from this view, to my guest
And "THE LEGION OF HONOR," appear'd on his breast.
Hah! a Frenchman! I cried -- and not the New-Year!
And I shrunk from the wretch with disgust and with fear
-- His eyes flashing vengeance -- with shrugs and with sneers
He shrieked forth his "foutres" his "pests" and "Monsieurs."
Of Orders and Edicts his gibberish ran
Of Rambouillet, and Berlin and also Milan --
He pointed to Canada -- chattered of Blood!
And shew'd on the map where free Switzerland stood!
He talk'd of embargos and other such stuff,
And "foutred" them all to the shades with a puff.
Our "restrictions" and threat'nings, he sent to "Diable,"
And Damn'd all our Gun-Boats -- as tubs for the rabble.
Of the "love of Napoleon" he gabbled an hour,
Of his kindness, and justice, his friendship and power --
Of La Franchise, La Vengeance and other such trash --
And closed by an offer to lend me some cash.
I shrunk from his offer -- I spit in his face --
And told him, indignant, his conduct was base --
That though a poor NEWS-BOY, I scorned to do evil,
And him and his master consign'd to the Devil.
Enrag'd, the foul dwarf, wildly flourish'd his wand --
And nine empty purses appear'd in each hand --
Then full in my view, with triumph he rear'd,
On each, at full length, an inscription appear'd.
On the first, "Baptiste Irvine," was written alone;
The second, "To Dunn," shew'd its Contents had gone --
On the rest, lofty names, in plain characters glare,
Of statesmen, who rule, and who clamour for war:
The fire flash'd new light -- and as nearer I drew;
A purse of small size -- was develop'd to view --
It seem'd that some Cents had once lodged therein,
And shillings and sixpences there had been seen,
And on it was written, in characters meet,
"For Captain Stargazer -- the tool of De Witt."
WIth a scowl he, exclaimed -- "You see my young friend,
"We ne'er want borrowers, while we've money to lend,
"And mark me, YOUNG WHIG -- ere long you shall rue,
"This saucy refusal to join the French crew."
Indignant I view'd him and swore to his head,
I'd publish this day ev'ry word he had said:
Nor would I one word from his gib'rish retrench;
But the shy little Devil spoke wholly in French.
At which growing angry -- I bade him Adieu,
And wrote just at day light, this VISION for you.
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