Posted on 12/25/2017 6:39:54 PM PST by DUMBGRUNT
He’s harnessing technology to waste the time of telemarketers. Anderson’s vision is to build a world free of those annoying phone calls pitching solar paneling, debt relief, and timeshares...
His service screens out known telemarketers, connecting their calls to robots with names such as Crazy Mazy (“a nice old lady with a couple of screws loose”) and Whitey Whitebeard (“a senior citizen who likes to talk but gets a bit feisty if you waste his time”). After the call finishes, Jolly Roger emails you a digital-audio file of the conversation for your enjoyment. Anderson says Crazy Mazy holds the record; she once kept a cable salesman on the line for three-quarters of an hour.
(Excerpt) Read more at weeklystandard.com ...
Congratulations. I find my computer develops all sorts of mysterious errors when I’m on the phone with these guys :) They get really frustrated with me. My fav ‘excuse:’ “Maybe these errors are caused by the viruses you said my computer is infected with.”
My friend holds the record. Someone called him to sell him vitamins. He was watching a game and it wasn’t very good, so he played with them. Asked detailed questions, figured out a plan for him and started giving them the credit card number.... only just about 4 numbers when he would have another question! They would chase down a supervisor and find the answer. He’d do that again.... and again....
They finally hung up on him.... after 2 hours!
You missed a call from your future self about an event that will impact world history that only you could have prevented.
(Wasn’t that the plot of a movie in the last 20 years or so?)
Same here.
I let those “Windows” guys give me the intro and then ask if they can “log” into my system. I give them all bogus addresses etc and then tell them the password is “go f$%k yourself”. Nailed the same idiot three times with it.
I asked one guy where he was. He said Kabul. I said “Oh, can you ship me some RPG’s?” He said he would but wanted my banking info - imagine that. Kept him on the line for 21 minutes.
‘Hello, This Is Lenny’
http://www.tormentingtelemarketers.com/2015/05/telemarketers-probably-dont-like-lenny/
I used to sometime have fun with telemarketers.
One time I got a call from someone trying to sell timeshares by offering me a free all-inclusive weekend at one of their resorts in VA. My niece was visiting me and listened as I put the guy on speakerphone. It was all she could do to keep from busting out laughing.
I asked the guy all sorts of questions, mostly normal at first but then increasingly bizarre questions like “Do you sell timeshares to Bulgarians, are Bulgarians allowed to use the pool? I really don’t like Bulgarians”. And “I’m in a plural marriage so when you say I can bring my immediate family, does that include both of my husbands?”
I must have had him on the phone for about 30 minutes when I asked him again where the resort was located and he said in Virginia. I then told him, I’d really love to but I can’t go to Virginia, to which he countered, “Virginia isn’t that far of a drive for you living in Maryland.” Then I said, “You don’t understand, if I leave the state of Maryland, I will be in violation of the terms of my parole”. Click! He hung up on me! Imagine that.
Another time I had a guy call me selling replacement windows and let him go on and on for a while and then in my best deadpan Steven Wright voice, told the guy I didn’t need any replacement windows because I had no windows. The guy laughed “What do you mean you don’t have any windows?” to which I said something like, “I covered them with aluminum foil and duct tape because if you don’t’ have any windows “they” can’t see you or listen to your thoughts. Are you actually selling CIA mind portals?” He never called back. ; )
If Verizon and companies like Verizon wanted to, they could put the kibosh on these callers in a heartbeat. The telecoms enjoy the revenue, as do the legislators they generously support.
“Maybe these errors are caused by the viruses you said my computer is infected with.”
Ha. I’ll have to remember that line for my next time.
We need to figure out how to route these calls to Congressional district offices. Let them join the party.
That is so funny! I was my husband's secretary. There was a very persistent ink salesman from India who kept calling. He would say "he wants to talk to me... he told me so!" I would laugh and say I know who he wants to talk to..... I sleep with him!" But he wouldn't give up.
Finally I just started hanging up on him as soon as I heard his voice. One day I answered the phone and he yelled "Don't hang up!!!" It made me laugh so hard I let him talk to my husband. He told him he was done.
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