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To: sodpoodle

I had a first-generation Irish-American great-uncle who was a wholesale liquor salesman (can you say stereotype???) that had an entire repertoire of Irish jokes he told customers. He was especially fond of “Pat and Mike” jokes which was funny to the family since that was what his sons were named.


3 posted on 12/06/2017 3:06:53 AM PST by T-Bird45 (It feels like the seventies, and it shouldn't.)
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To: T-Bird45
He was especially fond of “Pat and Mike” jokes

Dot remoinds me of a real Doozie of a Pat and Mike joke;

Pat and Mike are enjoying a pint at the pub in their small town when Pat says to Mike, "Ye don't seem yerself Mike. What's the problem?"
"Well, I'm having a bit of a crisis. I've cheated on me dear wife of 25 years with me neighbors wife." says Mike.
Pat says, "Good heavens, does yer wife know?"
"Good heavens, no Patrick."
Pat tells him, "Then you must go immediately to see Father O'Malley and confess yer sins. Right now."
"Yer right, yer right." says Mike.

So off Mike goes to see Father O'Malley to confess his sins. He steps into the confessional and starts, "Bless me Father for I have sinned". Mike begins to tell the priest of how he had intimate relations with another woman.

Father O'Malley says, "Good Lord Michael, who was this other woman?"
Mike says, "Father, she is a married woman and I simply could not say, lest her reputation be ruined."
"Of course, Michael. I understand." says the priest. But then he adds, "Now, was it the lovely Mrs. O'Toole?"
Mike demurs, "Heavens no Father. I just can't say."
"I understand son...but now...was it the fine Mrs. Collins?"
"Mike acts aghast, "Surely Father, y'know I mustn't say."
"Truly, I understand me son." But even still, the priest persists, "Well, could it have been Mrs. Davis over on Killarney Lane?"

Finally, Mike states in a louder voice, "Father! Please. I just won't divulge that!"
"Very well my son. I want you to say 3 Hail Marys, 1 Our Father and an Act of Contrition. No go and sin no more."

Mike leaves the church and heads back to the pub where Pat is still there waiting. Pat says, "Well, did you get absolution for yer transgression Mike?"
"Aye, I did."
Pat says, "Good. Now, I know Father O'Maley well. he must have asked you who was the other woman. Did you tell him?"
"Heavens no!" says Mike. "But I will tell YOU...I got meself 3 new leads!"

14 posted on 12/06/2017 6:13:55 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts (Ban pre-shredded cheese now! Make America Grate Again.)
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