I agree, it does depend on who is paying. But I would never have gone into my kids college accounts to investigate their grades. I would have asked them how it was going and what were their grades. I trusted them and as best I know they never lied to me.
The part of the story that I was referring to was the part where the parent was going to call the University. Leave that up to the daughter. When she (the daughter) gets it worked out, then discuss the results for good or bad.
Parents need to start letting go. When my daughter was a senior in high school, she came home with a note from a teacher, demanding a signature from the parents saying that we were aware of my daughters assignments and we would insure that they got done. I told my daughter, “I’m not signing that.” She pleaded, “Dad, you have to I’ll be in trouble if you don’t.” I told her, “You are about to go to college. Either you are going to do your assignments or not. I give you permission to sign my name on anything that teacher gives you.” She was stunned but left the room two feet taller than when she came in.
(She is now 30, a millionaire and a nice person.)