I’ll admit that I wasn’t stupid enough to be a Marine back in the day. The type that would suicidally follow orders. Your name doesn’t happen to be Matthew McKeon, does it? I thought he died about 15 years ago.
I'm sorry for you but you have to know yourself, I guess. Some people aren't really suited for the requirements of combat. People without the stamina, or dedication, or instincts, or the skills for direct combat really need to stay as far away as possible because they become an impediment to the unit and get people killed unnecessarily.
You did us all a favor.
Semper Fi