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To: AndyJackson
My suggested revision for the led:

Two Harvard University researchers announced Friday that they have found, in a tiny records office in southern England, a second parchment copy of the Declaration of Independence in a tiny records office in southern England.

Admittedly, as a German-speaker, I have less problem with re-arranging clauses like that (German is more insistent upon this point than English).

How about "A parchment copy of the Declaration of Independence found in England," which is also bad writing because it is passive voice, but perhaps forgivable in a headline.

The original headline is actually okay, insofar as it includes a dash before "in England," making clearer that the discovery was merely in England, and not that it was the second of two parchments, both found in England.

Regards,

13 posted on 04/22/2017 1:10:10 AM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: alexander_busek

Kamerad! Kamerad!
Alle Mädels müssen warten!
Kamerad! Kamerad!
Der Befehl ist da, wir starten!
Kamerad! Kamerad!
Die Losung ist bekannt:
Ran an den Feind!
Ran an den Feind!
Bomben auf Engelland!
|: Hört ihr die Motoren singen:
Ran an den Feind!
Hört ihr’s in den Ohren klingen:
Ran an den Feind!
Bomben! Bomben!
Bomben auf Engelland!


14 posted on 04/22/2017 10:41:57 AM PDT by tumblindice
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