The summer
was terrible
for Humpty Dumpty,
but he had
a great fall.
A riddle for you. What is this?
Answer down below.
h/t Geri
A wife being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text...
"If you are sleeping,
send me your dreams.
If you are laughing,
send me your smile.
If you are eating,
send me a bite.
If you are drinking,
send me a sip.
If you are crying,
send me your tears.
I love you."
He replied........
"I am sitting on the toilet,
what should I do?"
Speaking of toilets...
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
"Everybody's out with the flu, the computer
has a virus and the shredder just threw up.
How can I help you?"
StupidLibs!
Run it through the spokes!
- Truisms -
I wish mirrors and pictures would get together and agree on what I really look like.
Oh, I'm sorry! Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Everything you do becomes louder when you're trying not to wake someone up.
Of course my password is insecure. You would be too if you got replaced every six months.
A week after their marriage, the Redneck newlyweds paid a visit to their doctor.
"I can't figure it out doc, and I'm really worried," said the husband. "My testicles are turning blue."
"That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you." The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the Redneck's testicles are blue.
The doctor turns to the wife. "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed?"
"Yes, I am," she replied.
"And what kind of jelly are you using with it?"
"Grape"
Little old, but...
President Trump took an aerial tour of the proposed pipeline route through Standing Rock Indian Reservation earlier this week.
When he returned he said that all went reasonably well.
h/t June
h/t Ralph
A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.
The cow said, "I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!"
The ant said, "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!"
Well? Come on... it's YOUR TURN to say something.
h/t JP
Oh, before I forget, the answer to the riddle up above:
That's a picture of Democrats waiting in line to vote.
