Thank you,
For getting it.
... if you DON'T leave in the face of repeated transgressions of your values, then you too are corrupt. This may seem like a harsh judgment -> but -> it's NOT a judgment. It's merely a consequence. It's not fair, and nor is life. I would guess that maybe only 5% of those who should do this successfully do it for good, which is, for those who were born into a dysfunctional situation, the only route to becoming complete.
It's also not a lack of forgiveness. It's self preservation. Once you've confronted them, and they've confirmed who they are, you merely accept that. When you meet a poisonous snake in the woods, and confirm - yeah, that's a coral snake, not a rainbow snake -> you simple turn and leave. There is no judgment of the snake, no hatred for the snake.
I really really hope she can stick with this. I think the most important thing I could tell her is: You left because your values were incompatible, and it was poisoning you. There is no way to make it not be poisonous, but you can fool yourself by making a compromise of your values, and tell yourself your doing it be 'kind.' In truth, if they have not changed, the ONLY reason to go back is that you have decided that your conception of their feelings and your responsibility for them is of greater value than your own values.
That's a valid choice to make, but it is the choice of billions throughout history who have led lives of spiritual slavery. Rejecting corruption is as important as embracing the pure, perhaps more so.
There was a book which, when I read it ... kind of kiln fired my values as permanent - in that I recognized them in the book, and that validated them as not just some mental rambling emanating out of my neural circuitry. It's my favorite book ever, and it just happens to be Trump's favorite book. It's a moral study on what is of value to an individual, what it means to have values, and what it means to stand in them and for them. If I could inject that book into her brain right now I would.