She’s 25 years old? My experience with my parents at 25 was phone calls, occasional requests for money (please!) and mostly realizing how tough life actually can be, and sort of lionizing my parents for making it through it. At 25, has she ever been on her own? That makes all the difference.
For all intents and purposes, she’s been on her own since she was 12.
Washing the drunken puke from her mothers hair at 2am so she could get some sleep.
At 15, without a license, driving her mother home from the bar she was forced go to.
There is so much more.
At 12 she was putting her drunk mother in the shower to wash the puke from her hair. Waking her mother up each morning so she could get to school on time. Cooking her own meals and fending off her mothers boyfriends.
Been on her own?
At 14 she was her mothers designated driver.
And it continued. At 18 she got "Power of Attorney" for her Grandmother who was losing it both physically and mentally. Managing her own school life only to go home to literally clean up her grandmothers crap. Fix her dinner, check her blood sugar and keep her calm. Managed ALL her finances and took her to the hospital on countless occasions. Never mind the times she took her own mother to the hospital for any number of "psychotic" events.
On her own?
Paying her own way through College. Buying her own car. Working nearly full time and paying her own bills.
On her own?
Filing taxes for her Grandmother, Mother and her Ex-Pat Grandfather. Meeting with their accountants and attorneys. Negotiating Real Estate transactions on their behalf.
On her own?
She knows more about Insurance, Doctors, Lawyers, Prescription medications and that entire racket than most.
It's all about guilt.
Her mother and their family guilting her into accepting their insanity as something that is both normal and her fault for not participating.
She has hundreds of emails and texts messages that document this. She has hours of recorded phone calls with her mother's insane rants.
Does that make a difference?