Posted on 01/26/2017 12:03:12 PM PST by oh8eleven
Suicide was my first thought when I heard.
In front of his wife?
Asshole.
Not buying that for even one split second. Bull stuff!
In your mind you think the guy went up there and said, “I’ll get even with her, bang!”
Seriously? Good grief!
Nope.
were there any other witnesses?
follow the money
Thank you, DoughtyOne.
I don’t want her to accept the blame either.
These things happen. Two people contribute. It wasn’t her fault more than it was his. She shouldn’t beat herself up over it.
I do think people need to argue constructively. If it goes too far, call a break and try to be constructive at another time.
From my experience, you NEVER say something you don’t want to stick with someone for a long time. You don’t bring up things unrelated to the issue. You don’t insult. You don’t pull out pet grievances and add them to the dynamics.
Some folks think it’s time to spill their guts when arguments are underway. It isn’t.
Pretend everything you say can and will be used against you at a later date. It will if you’re not careful.
Stick to the issue at hand, even if the other person tries to branch out. Call them on it. Explain that isn’t productive. Ask them to help resolve the main issue and nothing else (right now).
Don’t close down their other pet peeves, but tell them that after ‘this issue’ is resolved, we can discuss those. “I’ll be happy to, since they bother you too. I want you to be happy.”
So you are saying that a 60’s rock band drummer, who was a member of a band known for its heavy drug use, never used drugs? That doesn’t appear to agree with what Gregg Allman has said. “Mr. Allman details how his entire band and crew fell under the spell of drugs....” http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/may/7/gregg-allman-opens-up-about-duane-cher-and-drugs-i/
Or Butch Trucks, either, for that matter:
“ “I would snort a little coke so I could drink some more,” said Trucks.” http://www.mypalmbeachpost.com/entertainment/butch-trucks-allman-bros-drummer-rock-drugs-and-getting-sober/9KNjZjS3yisNUDzU2GYkPN/
...but if you haven’t gone through something that at least makes you consider that death might be better, then you haven’t really gone through bad times.
And offing yourself is pure narcissism.
When my wife was in her late 20’s with three children, single digit aged, and no life insurance, her husband died of leukemia. She screamed at God, but never considered suicide. And it actually increased her faith.
When my first wife divorced me “without cause” after 20 years, while we had three teenaged daughters, I cried for three days straight. But I never thought about offing myself. And that experience actually increased my faith as well.
Maybe being a follower of Christ matters. That could be it. ;-)
I have no compassion for those that kill themselves. But the reason may not be what you think. I have no compassion because it would be wasted. They are dead. My compassion is for those who are left to deal with it.
I’m not here to advocate for people who end their lives. It is always a mistake.
Sometimes the pain is so great, that the person will seek any way to end it.
Some folks like to think the person that kills them-self is flawed. That way it is easy to simply blame it on that and dismiss it.
A guy goes home. His wife tells him she has a lover. She wants a divorce. She wants the children. Twenty minutes later officers arrive at the front door. He has to leave the home.
The court gives her the home, the children, child support, and spousal support.
The guy winds up with a few meager belongings and winds up living in an apartment that may be worse than his first home out of his parents house.
When visitation comes, he has no place to take the kids. His home isn’t up to snuff and he knows it. It’s a bachelor. There are no beds for the kids. He takes them out to diner and the movies. The kids complain because that’s all he ever does. It never dawns on them it’s the only way he can spend decent time with them, these and a few other similar situations.
Then the kids start having other plans when visitation comes along. How does dad react when his kid presents him with a choice of “allowing me to go to Disneyland with my friends, or go out with you.”
The guy is alone. His home may suffer due to him being unable to cope. He looses weight. He can’t sleep for more than an hour or two at a time.
He’s very worn down, just completely at his wits end.
Then all it takes is one trigger event, and the guy just gives up.
This is termed by people full of horse stuff, as a guy who doesn’t think of anyone but himself.
Good freakin grief!
Talk about your inability to put yourself in someone else shoes.
“:^)
You have written the most thoughtful reply on this thread. During the 25 years that I worked on a big city fire department I went on many suicide calls. I am old enough to have known several people that I considered to be my friends commit suicide.
One time my crew and I were dispatched to a woman who had attempted to commit suicide by cutting her ankles. It sounded so odd, but the woman had previously tried to kill herself by running her car into a tree. She had succeeded in paralyzing herself, so she had no sensation in her legs.
That day she had taken a steak knife and cut one foot almost off and then waited to die. But when you cut all the way through a major artery and you have poor circulation in your lower extremities, at least in this situation you do not loose enough blood to kill yourself before coagulation stops the blood flow.
So she nearly cut her other foot off. And again she waited to die. But she didn’t even lose consciousness. So when we arrived she let us in. And she told us what she had done. Her biggest concern was the mess her blood had made on the carpet. She politely asked me if I wouldn’t clean up the mess so that her mother wouldn’t be upset when she got home.
So while we waited for the ambulance, I worked on cleaning up the mess while my crew talked to her. Surprisingly, the couple pints of blood that had coagulated on the carpet formed a big jelly fish like mass that lifted off the carpet and I was able to wash up what was left with detergent and water, which calmed her down considerably.
The surprising thing to me was how rational the young lady seemed and how calm my crew’s conversation with her was. I had been on many suicide attempts, most of them were more cries for help or attention. Others were unconscious or had seriously injured themselves. So this was something completely different.
This was an attractive young lady who had been determined to kill herself for some time. Her mother arrived before we left. The girl was normally not left alone because her mother knew she was a danger to herself, so usually someone came over to keep an eye on her whenever her mother left. She described the situation and it didn’t seem like anything that had been done, no matter how many people had talked to her, no one was able to get her to appreciate being alive.
Sometimes all you can do is pray and hope that God will intervene.
Exactly.Taking yourself down is bad enough but what give you the right to take others along with you?
That was in the 60’s and 70’s.
the ones that lived even quit it all.
True.The brain is just a collection of cells just like the lungs...heart...kidneys,etc.When an organ malfunctions trouble can ensue...particularly when it malfunctions in a major way.The brain is so complex and the chemical balances are so precise that a certain kind of malfunction can cause this.
I've seen it written that scientists know more about the surface of the moon than they do about the brain.
Where did all the millions go? And wouldn't he receive ongoing royalties?
Some of us believe if you commit suicide it will be.
“What if it’s worse where I’m going.”
Some of us believe if you commit suicide it will be.”
My experience, having died, crossed over and returned back to my physical body, is that hell is being right here without a physical body.
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