Three elderly men were sitting on a bench in the backyard of their retirement home.
One says, “I’m not the man I used to be. I have to urinate constantly but never get more than a dribble.”
Second man says, “I know what you mean. I haven’t had a good bowel movement in years. I have to go five or six times every day.”
Third man looks glum and says, “I have a bladder draining stream every morning at 6 am.”
Tears start to leak down his face.
“I have a great bowel movement every morning at 7 am.”
His friends look at him and ask him why he isn’t happy that his plumbing is in such great shape?
Blubbering, he replies, “I don’t get out of bed until 8 am!”
Elderly Prayer:
“Dear Lord: The last fifteen or twenty years have been very tough. You have taken my favorite actor - Paul Newman; my favorite actress - Elizabeth Taylor; my favorite singer - Andy Williams; my favorite author -Tom Clancy; and now, my favorite comedians – Robin Williams and Joan Rivers. I just wanted you to know that my favorite politicians are Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, and I have a special place in my heart for Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton. Amen.”