“The Little Drummer Boy” is a beautiful song, for maybe the first 35 minutes. But eventually it gets on your nerves, those voices shrieking “rum-pa-pa-pum!”
For openers, drums do not go “rum-pa-pa-pum.” Drums go “rat-a-tat-tat.” Also I have issues with the line from “The Little Drummer Boy” that goes: “The ox and lamb kept time.”
Really? How? Did they clack their hooves together, castanet-style? Did they dance? Are we supposed to believe that two barnyard animals with legume-level IQs spontaneously started doing the macarena?
I’ll tell you this: If I were taking care of a newborn baby, and somebody came around whacking on a drum, that person would find himself at the emergency room having his drumsticks surgically removed from his rum-pa-pa-pum, if you know what I mean.
—Dave Barry