My accountant’s wife won 1985:
“The countdown had stalled at ‘T’ minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick, rubbery lips unmistakably — the first of many such advances during what would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my career.”
Martha Simpson, Glastonbury, Connecticut
Winning sentence, 1985 Bulwer-Lytton Bad Fiction Contest
That is great - very funny...