How can you tell if the stage is level?
The bass player is drooling out of both side of his mouth.
Bass players get gigs - guitar players get students.
Johnny takes up the bass, and goes to his first lesson. His teacher shows him the A string, and all the notes on it.
The second lesson the teacher shows Johnny the E string, and goes over all the notes on the E string.
... Johnny doesn’t show up for his next lesson.
A few days later, the teacher runs into Johnny on the street and asks him if everything is OK, and why he didn’t make the lesson.
“Sorry, Teach, I had a gig.”
SHOOT HIM AGAIN!
Q: What do you throw a drowning bass player?
A: His amplifier.
(yes, I’m a bass player) :)