Posted on 06/23/2016 8:24:42 AM PDT by hoagy62
The fart heard 'round the world is an underdog story.
It's the tale of a humble fart, unloosed on the world in a moment of innocence in the anonymity of a game between Swedish soccer clubs nobody had ever heard of. Its maker is Adam Lindin Ljungkvist, a left back for Järna SK's reserve team. They were playing Pershagen SK.
He already had a yellow card.
He also had "a bad stomach," per the Guardian. So, as he told Länstidningen Södertälje, which we're going to guess is either a newspaper or a cheap, self-assembled coffee table, "I simply let go." ***** The referee explained himself. "I perceived it as deliberate provocation," Kako said, adding that he'd once given a player a yellow for peeing by the field as well. "He did it on purpose and it was inappropriate. Therefore, he received a yellow card."
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
All I can say is that it must've been one hellacious fart. Either that, or the ref has some serious bathroom issues.
Keep your yellow cards ready for the elevator.
Should have been called the Brown Card or Buckshot Card.
Did he fart in the referee’s general direction? :=)
Yellow card for peeing? OK. Too bad the ref didn’t have a brown card for the infartction... [That’s a hard one to pronounce for such a little fake word!]
Wow! What did the crowd get?
Wow.. I thought some of our NFL officials were a little pissy...
writer deserves a Red Card for unwarranted IKEA bashing
Omg I laughed so hard my pants split ! So funny
A one cheek sneak.
It’s all that rotten lutefisk!
I have a funny elevator fart story.
At a museum with my family. As we get to our floor and just before (or as) the doors open, it happened. “Oh, Dad!!!!!” Hee hee.
Doors open, we rush out, large group of people rush in. As doors shut, “OH MY GAWD! Holy $hi#! What the Hell?” TRAPPED!
Disgusting, I know. 3 of us couldn’t move we were laughing so hard. Only my teenage daughter was disgusted and embarrassed and wanted to run away. That made it even funnier.
He should get the red card. He is contributing to global warming.
Ode Tae a Fart
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in your belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous wind
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Stert workin like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
Will have ye blawin all ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A’body’s gonnae hiv tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It’s like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try and stop the leakin air
Shifty yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it doesnae reek
But aw yer efforts go assunder
Oot it comes like a clap o thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me a sonic boom
God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvnae shit my breeks
Tae the bog I better scurry
Aw whit the hell it’s no ma worry
A’body roon aboot me chokin
Wan or two are nearly bokin
I’ll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
Wiz him! I shout with accusin glower
Alas too late, he’s just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
A dinnae feel welcome any mair
Where e’ere ye go let yer wind gan’ free
Sounds like just the job fur me
Whit a fuss at rabbie’s party
Ower the sake o one wee farty
Ode Tae a Fart
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in your belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous wind
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Stert workin like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
Will have ye blawin all ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A’body’s gonnae hiv tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It’s like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try and stop the leakin air
Shifty yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it doesnae reek
But aw yer efforts go assunder
Oot it comes like a clap o thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me a sonic boom
God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvnae shit my breeks
Tae the bog I better scurry
Aw whit the hell it’s no ma worry
A’body roon aboot me chokin
Wan or two are nearly bokin
I’ll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
Wiz him! I shout with accusin glower
Alas too late, he’s just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
A dinnae feel welcome any mair
Where e’ere ye go let yer wind gan’ free
Sounds like just the job fur me
Whit a fuss at rabbie’s party
Ower the sake o one wee farty
That stinks.
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