I'm no quantum physicist so don't take my theory too seriously but here is how I look at it: the spooky action at a distance happens because the particles are not really two separate things, they are one thing that, in our world (universe, whatever), encounter interference such that they appear to be separate. They're connected "before" they're perceived here, and "after."
Laugh, sure. But it helps me read about this stuff.
Interesting theory and very possibly true. Interesting that you included time as a variable.