Why are any of these people there in the first place? I call this my biggest TV inspired fear: dying in the desert. But I guess I’m right to be afraid, it seems to happen quite regularly.
You are joking, yes? You have never met any one of these people in real life?
I live in an undeveloped bit of land just off of the local National Forest, and the only way to get to where I am is to follow some of the barely-usable Forest-Service trails (which are not rated to handle even ATV-traffic upon them) with many branches before you get to the height above sea-level where I am, but I get these roo-baits every year asking all manner of idiotic questions time and time again. Even though I am roughly five miles out and seven miles up from the nearest road...
"What's the best way out of here?"
_ I dunno, mate, why don't you just try keeping on traveling downhill, as the only branches are on the upward way.
"Where does this trail lead to?"
_ Ummm, UPWARDS???
"Is there another way out from here?"
_ No. Try going back the way you traveled from.
"Are there really any bears out here?"
_ Yes. Mobs of them. They will mob-assault you and then gang-rape you on the way out simply because they smell the candy and fruit-juice drinks on your breath as you travel.
"Do you have any water?"
_ No.
"Where's your bathroom?"
_ Down the road a bit then look for the bushes -then find a spot and make certain you have at least a handful of leaves available.
*grumble*
You would not believe the mental midgets that travel the country to this day.