Nobody REALLY needs to own an “automatic transmission” car with a scary black paint job.
What if cars were controlled just like guns now are?
Well, let’s consider some of the implications.
* In Washington DC, you couldn’t own a car at all, unless it was “grandfathered” in or you were an elected politician. New York would be almost as bad.
* You could possess a car on your own property, but in most states, you would need a special permit in order to operate it on any public road, and if you live within city limits, you’d better have a damned good reason to operate it even on your own property. Some states would have a policy of always issuing the permit unless they had legitimate reason not to, but others would deny the permit for arbitrary reasons and not be required to tell you the reason, and many jurisdictions in such states would have a policy of just saying “No.” (Unless, of course, you’d contributed a large sum of money to the Sheriff’s re-election campaign. Could be $5,000, could be $10,000, could be $20,000 ... depends. How much money do you have?)
* You’d also be able to operate it at licensed race tracks, of course. However, in many states, you couldn’t drive it there, you’d have to transport it in a locked box trailer, and it had better be completely empty fueled , both directions. In some states, if it was found during a routine stop that you had fuel in the same trailer, the car would be considered fueled and you’d be arrested. How you haul the trailer is your own problem ... oxen? 20 mule team?
* You couldn’t own an SUV. No-one needs a car that big and powerful.
* No sports cars. No-one needs a car that fast.
* You couldn’t own a minivan. No-one needs a vehicle with that much capacity (except the city, of course, which would continue to operate its bus fleets, government exempting itself as it always does from the laws its citizens have to follow).
* You couldn’t own a vehicle with an automatic transmission. Everyone knows automatic transmissions are designed solely to make as many gear changes as possible with a single shove of the gas pedal.
* You couldn’t own that subcompact 58mpg hybrid any more. Everyone “knows” cars that small aren’t safe. There might be some domestic models (yeah, right!), but all imports would be banned.
* Motorcycles, even more so; they’d all be banned. Just way too easy to have one and not be seen. (Most motorcyclists would agree with this. We think it’s WAY too easy to own and operate a motorcycle and “not be seen”. Many motorcyclists get killed every year by people who “didn’t see” them.) And even your bicycle would get funny looks, especially if it’s something unusual like a recumbent.
* The Mayor and your Senator would somehow still have no difficulty continuing to operate their chauffeur-driven limos. But what else is new?
* It would be illegal in some states to have a car possessing more than two of, say, a CD player, a sunroof, a trailer hitch, a rear spoiler, alloy wheels, racing stripes, a convertible top, tinted windows, tuner decals, or an aftermarket exhaust system (even if it performed no differently than stock). In some states, certain accessories such as fog lights or convertible tops would be simply illegal, period. Your state might also have a specific list by name of cars you weren’t allowed to own for more or less arbitrary, largely cosmetic reasons, and might also vaguely prohibit ownership of any vehicle “substantially similar” to one on the list. Naturally, it would be your responsibility to find out from the state DMV whether a specific car was actually legal for you to own or not, and if they changed their minds later, they might arrest you anyway despite having already told you your car was legal. (They might repeat this cycle several times.)
* It would be a felony to leave your car unsecured where a minor could get access to it.
* In some states, if someone stole your car and committed a crime with it, you could go to jail. Even if you didn’t go to jail, you’d never get the car back. State law would most likely require that it be crushed.
Jump to the ground as the turbo slows
To cross the borderline
Run like the wind as excitement shivers
Up and down my spine
But down in his barn
My uncle preserved for me
An old machine
For fifty-odd years
To keep it as new
Has been his dearest dream
I strip away the old debris
That hides a shining car
A brilliant Red Barchetta
From a better vanished time
We'll fire up the willing engine
Responding with a roar
Tires spitting gravel
I commit my weekly crime