I hear ya.
She's convinced that she failed as a mom by not keeping the pressure on our two oldest kids up through high school.
Her solution? Drive my 13 YO son (and me) batty by being a helicopter parent. Poor kid's in band (all city - trumpet), football, scouts, and honor roll to boot. She's on fire over basketball tryouts in about 10 days, starting the day after the last football game.
I've been taking him to the gym 3-4 times a week to get him ready. He's been playing in pickup games against adults, and that's boosted his confidence. Thanks to my urging, he's using the backboard on his shots from the wing, he's now a deadeye from 15-18 feet.
For all her pestering and cajoling, she hasn't seen one minute of his progress.
She's a great wife and mother, but she needs to learn when to take the foot off the gas. lol