Two ringy-dingy...
(snort, snort!)
A gracious hello. Here at Free Republic, we handle eighty-four billion URL requests a year. Serving everyone from presidents and kings to the scum of the earth. So, we realize that, every so often, you can't get access to the web site, or for no apparent reason you receive a maleware alert from Google, or perhaps you get charged for using a website you didn't even use. We don't care!
Watch this... [ she hits buttons maniacally ] We just lost Peoria.
You see, this website consists of a multibillion-dollar matrix of space age technology that is so sophisticated -- [ she hits buttons with her elbows ] even we can't handle it. But that's your problem, isn't it? So, the next time you complain about your internet service, why don't you try using two Dixie cups with a string? We don't care. We don't have to. We're Free Republic.
