Random thoughts:
Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."
One day out on the golf course, a golfer accidentally overturned his golf cart.
A very attractive woman, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise, came out onto her balcony and called out to him, "Hey, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, thanks," he replied.
"You look frazzled," the woman said. "Come up to my villa for a drink and I will help you get the cart up afterwards."
"That's mighty nice of you," he answered, "but I don't think my wife would like that."
"Oh, come on," the woman, a gorgeous brunette in a sexy bikini, insisted. "I can see you've cut your head. It could be serious. Let me take care of that right away. I'm a nurse."
She was very persuasive....and he was weak.
"Well okay," he agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."
After she bandaged his wound, she gave him a most welcome brandy. They talked a little about golf and he discovered she was an avid golfer with a four handicap. When he confessed to a weakness in his putting, she gave him a putting lesson holding him close and intimately as she did so.
Finally he confessed, "I feel a lot better now, but I had better get going. I know my wife is going to be really upset with me being here with you."
"Don't be silly!" the woman said with a smile, "she won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Under the cart," he replied.
h/t Ralph
An actual tweet from Chicago:
"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the color of the baby."
Sneaky little bastards...
All data courtesy of the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis. Recent historic measures in 9 charts.
