[Humor] All 128 Division I Colleges Ranked by Everything Other Than Sports (Also, Sports)

ThrillList ^ | 9/19/2015 | Matt Lynch and Kevin Alexander

[re_nortex]

45. University of Florida

You’re the best public university...IN FLORIDA. This is kind of like being the best-dressed guy at Walmart.

:)

[crusty old prospector]

I didn’t read them all but this guy won’t be writing anytime soon for late night comedy. No, wait. This is the exact low brow humor they are searching for.

[EEGator]

This list was clearly made by someone that looks like this:

[KarlInOhio]

128. University of Notre Dame

... Also, I went to a Notre Dame wedding once, and everyone in the church kept checking the score on their phone during the Catholic service. While they were playing Navy. And the worst part was: they were losing!

Not believable... that anyone from Notre Dame would schedule a wedding on a game day.

[re_nortex]

This is the exact low brow humor they are searching for.

True, the piece certainly has failed to reach the lofty, higher-echelon humor standard that Free Republic has set ("Guilty, not guilty" and "I'd hit it!") but the dig at far-left UC-Berkeley is on target:

Its reputation as a hippie incubator for kids taking independent studies while sitting in redwoods protesting the capitalistic expansion of their favorite vegan burrito spot is only 70% true.

[dfwgator]

98. University of South Florida
When your name screams “I failed eighth-grade geography,” that’s all you need to know.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So true.

[re_nortex]

This one from the list is for you:

41. Texas A&M University

Become an Aggie and your sole reason for waking up in the AM will be hating a university that you no longer share an athletic conference with.

:)

[Darth Reardon]

“...because Madison is pretty damn perfect...”

Or not. I’m gonna go with not. Very, very not.

[crusty old prospector]

I skimmed down to see what his impression of my alma mater was. Texas Tech. Other than some f bombs and some erroneous geographic information about it being in a desert, it wasn’t funny. The South Plains is mostly irrigated farm land. He needs to go to The University of Arizona if he wants to see a desert. Or UTEP.

[Mears]

I got a big kick out of #52

.

[sparklite2]

Maybe he meant the cultural desert that is Lubbock. ;)

[Ditter]

I am not an Aggie.........but I did marry one, so that makes me an Aggie by marriage...... I guess?

[oblomov]

Was that written in the 90s? References to Bobby Knight at Indiana University and Dave Matthews concerts.

[Redbob]

"88. University of North Texas
Amazing music school, which is partly why Denton is where almost every cool Texas band comes from. So enjoy being a fan of a cool Texas band, because there’s... not much else to do in Denton."

Spot on!

[Longbow1969]

6. University of Virginia Based on the aesthetics of the school and town alone, you would be in the top two. But you know it all too well, don’t you UVA students? And it’s that smug satisfaction that you have somehow already won some sort of life lottery that keeps us from allowing ourselves to push you even higher. Also, despite the national fame from Pitch Perfect, your men’s a cappella team is only slightly above average.

Too bad our Football team has been mediocre at best for so many years. Shame we haven't had anything to truly be excited about since we beat Florida State in 95' - which was the first time the Seminoles lost an ACC game at the time.

[Excuse_My_Bellicosity]

I have to create a login to read an article on a website that I’m never coming back to. No thanks.

[JimSEA]

“38. University of Arizona
Two types of people go here: smart people from Arizona, and dumb people from everywhere else.”

In contrast with most of the snarks on the list, this is remarkably accurate.

[Redbob]

No you don’t have to create a login to read it...

[Redbob]

" Shame we haven't had anything to truly be excited about since we beat Florida State in 95'

How do you beat someone in 95 feet? What does that even mean?

Oh, wait: you meant '95...