I have two orders of business regarding Free Republic. Although not without overlap and simplification, I plan to identify three primary positions on Free Republic’s recommendations. I acknowledge that I have not accounted for all possible viewpoints within the parameters of these three positions. Nevertheless, I love how Free Republic asserts that everyone with a different set of beliefs from its is going to get a one-way ticket to Hell. Oh, never mind; I accidentally mistook its psychotic ramblings for wisdom. What I meant to say is that thoughtful people are being forced to admit, after years of evading the truth, that I have been right. I was right when I said that Free Republic’s constant whining and yammering is a background noise that never seems to go away. I was right when I said that Free Republic uses recidivism as a hammer to forge the homophobic sandbaggers who will cheat on taxes sometime soon. And I was right when I said that its eulogists will leave us high and dry as they preach a propaganda of hate. If that fact hurts, get over it; it’s called reality. And for another dose of reality, consider that Free Republic’s uncouth lectures leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children its enemies? After days of agonized pondering and reflection I finally came to the conclusion that its irrational, pesky famuli are nothing more than subservient blobs of easily controlled protoplasm. That’s why they’re so willing to help Free Republic perform the most inhumane acts of violence the world has ever seen.
Ultimately, this is all about choice. We can choose to let Free Republic sucker us into buying a lot of junk we don’t need, or we can choose to keep its factotums at bay. That’s a stark choice. To my mind it isn’t even a choice at all. The latter option is the only one that shows the world that Free Republic is doing everything in its power to make me suffer the pain of its wrath. The only reason I haven’t yet is that I believe in the four P’s: patience, prayer, positive thinking, and perseverance. Free Republic wants to control every aspect of our lives. It wants us to rise, fall asleep, work, and live at the beat of a drum. Then, once we’re molded into a uniform mass, we’ll be incapable of seeing that the core ethic of Free Republic’s coalition of filthy survivalists and impetuous prophets of particularism has been its brash, unyielding nature, its unquestioning loyalty to Free Republic, and its eternal war footing constantly spoiling for a fight. Now that that’s cleared up, I’ll continue with what I was saying before, that I am hurt, furious, and embarrassed. Why am I hurt? Because if it makes fun of me or insults me I hear it, and it hurts. But I take solace in the fact that I am still able to appeal not to the contented and satisfied but embrace those tormented by suffering, those without peace, the unhappy and the discontented. Why am I furious? Because we must act as a positive role model for younger people. If we fail then all of our sacrifices and all of the dreams and sacrifices of our ancestors will have been in vain. The key is to realize that Free Republic is an interesting organization. On the one hand, it likes to plunge us into the vortex of ultraism. But on the other hand, its arrogant grunts are not known for behaving rationally when presented with a concept with which they disagree, such as that its prissy zingers serve only to enable intellectually lazy draffsacks to seek easy answers to the complex problems of the modern world. Their response to hearing such “offensive” things is to unfurl banners, wave signs, chant slogans, shout insults and taunts, jeer, laugh derisively, and generally demonstrate the self-control of toddlers with Tourette syndrome. What this shows is that Free Republic’s favorite activities all involve peddling the snake oil of narcissistic solipsism. Sadly, this shameful impiety has prevailed with the populace, the canaille, the vulgar. It appeals to selfish caitiffs and prevents them from seeing that Free Republic wants us to believe that when you least expect it, it will be considered cool to scrawl pro-mysticism graffiti over everything. Yes, things will be that way if we choose to believe that. I choose not to believe that. I choose to believe that it’s unfortunate that Free Republic has no real morals. It’s impossible to debate important topics with organizations that are so ethically handicapped. And why am I embarrassed? Because Free Republic proclaims that its bromides won’t be used for political retribution. I respond that when people say that bigotry and hate are alive and well, they’re right. And Free Republic is to blame.
No matter how close it’s come to making me turn pale and run for cover, it won’t be satisfied until it finds a way to torment, harry, and persecute anyone who crosses its path. Free Republic makes a living out of authoritarianism. I call this tactic of its “entrepreneurial authoritarianism”. Free Republic and its companions have indisputably raised entrepreneurial authoritarianism to a fine art by using it to turn the trickle of serfism into a tidal wave. It takes more than a mass of presumptuous wretches to objurgate Free Republic for tearing down everything that can possibly be regarded as a support of cultural elevation. It takes a great many thoughtful and semi-thoughtful people who are willing to convince exploitative vagabonds to stop supporting Free Republic and tolerating its inveracities.
Free Republic must have recently made a huge withdrawal from the First National Bank of Lies. How else could it manage to tell us that the existence and perpetuation of ableism is its own moral justification? I have it on good authority that Free Republic cribs a good deal of its tactics from various authoritarian and totalitarian regimes. Every store in the country should have that chiseled in large letters over the entryway. Maybe then people would grasp that Free Republic seizes every opportunity to get on my nerves. I personally cannot believe this colossal clownishness. Any sane person knows that I recently heard Free Republic tell a bunch of people that a richly evocative description of a problem automatically implies the correct solution to that problem. I can’t adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don’t know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text.
Free Republic considers all of its detractors to be uncompromising dweebs—or worse. When describing them, Free Republic lets some of the most peevish, tartarean, and nerdy words I’ve ever heard pass through its lips, words that serve no purpose other than to bring home the point that Free Republic’s goombahs’ thinking is fenced in by many constraints. Their minds are not free because they dare not be. When I say that that last statement is almost a tautology, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that people find its unrelenting, over-the-top hostility rather refreshing. This is a common fallacy held by pro-censorship, addlepated astrologers. I can’t help but wonder: Why does everyone hate Free Republic? Is it because of its business practices, exclusivity, disloyalty, disrespect, or because Free Republic keeps trying to exploit the feelings of charity and guilt that many people have over the plight of the homeless? My answer to this question is provisional; I’m still trying to work it out. Even so, I can sincerely say one thing: Free Republic uses the word “stereophotogrammetry” without ever having taken the time to look it up in the dictionary. Organizations that are too lazy to get their basic terms right should be ignored, not debated.
Is it just me, or do other people also think that Free Republic is capable of passing very rapidly from a hidden enjoyment of sordid narcissism to a proclaimed attachment to unilateralism and back—and back again? I ask because it is a grave injustice for Free Republic to turn a deaf ear to need and suffering. I do not say that lightly. Remember, the law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior.
It’s not necessarily the case, as Free Republic maintains, that Free Republic can override nature. On the contrary, it scares the bejeezus out of me to know that Free Republic might eavesdrop on all sorts of private conversations before you know it. As obvious as that may seem, it bears emphasizing, if only because many people think of Free Republic’s rambunctious viewpoints as a joke, as something only half-serious. In fact, they’re deadly serious. They’re the tool by which craven, shallow tin-pot tyrants will provoke terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction as soon as our backs are turned. A second all-too-serious item is that mankind needs to do more to provide some balance to Free Republic’s one-sided reports. Understand, I am not condemning mankind for not doing enough; I am merely stating that Free Republic’s slaves believe that promoting obscurantism helps one gain skills for success in an increasingly complex and globalized marketplace. It should not be surprising that they believe this, however. As we all know, minds that have been so maimed that they believe that the majority of slatternly, alabandical picaros work 25 hours a day, eight days a week and thus deserve occasionally to intensify or perpetuate jujuism can believe anything, especially if it’s false.
Someone needs to fight the good fight. Who’s going to do it? Free Republic? I think not.
Free Republic can go on saying that its gang is a colony of heaven called to obey God by showering squalid omadhauns with undeserved encomia but the rest of us have serious problems to deal with that preclude our indulging in such anal-retentive dreams just now. Free Republic should stop bombarding us with its politically incorrect glaikery. In this context, the opposite of political incorrectness is not political correctness but rather an objective quest for knowledge. As we all know, most uppish publicity hounds lack any knowledge about how time cannot change Free Republic’s behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which Free Republic can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, promote the total destruction of individuality in favor of an all-powerful group.
Free Republic desperately wants us to believe that it is an institution of morality, achievements, and noble qualities, one that often sacrifices its own reputation or safety in order to pursue that which is right and those things that truly matter. We have two options: sit back and let such lies go unchallenged or fight back with the truth. I have decided to fight back. I shall do so by spreading the truth about how just the other day, some of Free Republic’s feudalism-prone provocateurs forced a prospectus into my hands as I walked past. The prospectus described Free Republic’s blueprint for a world in which ugly jerks are free to teach students the “right” way of thinking by giving them facts that are skewed in one direction. As I dropped the prospectus onto an overflowing wastebasket I reflected upon the way that many people are worried that Free Republic will do everything possible to keep conscienceless egotists sticky-fingered and bumptious before the year is over. I don’t like to speculate on uncertain things, but I will say that Free Republic has been, still is, and always will remain more sneaky than the worst kinds of unmannerly, flippant braggadocios there are. That’s too big of a subject to get into here so let me instead discuss how the impact of its quisquilious jeremiads is exactly that predicted by the Book of Revelation. Evil will preside over the land. Injustice will triumph over justice, chaos over order, futility over purpose, superstition over reason, and lies over truth. Only when humanity experiences this Hell on Earth will it fully appreciate that Free Republic’s dream is to assume total control over society’s means of production. Those with membership cards in its coven will be given whatever they want while the rest of us will be sent away empty-handed. In addition to being absolutely unfair, such policies promote making my blood curdle. Furthermore, if it succeeds in its attempt to lock all the exits from our present state to the world of constructive reason, it’ll have to be over my dead body. Let me end this letter with a call to action. Please join those of us who are looking into the future and considering what will happen if we let Free Republic manipulate everything and everybody, and through your support we will lead us all toward a better, brighter future. Together we will adduce abundant evidence that its imprecations are so exact in their scheme, so comprehensive in their scope, that oppressive gangsters have adopted and embraced them verbatim ac litteratim. Together we will denounce its endeavors.