What’s good for the goose is good for the gander —
Oh, wait — which is which??
Masculine Women, Feminine Men
Written by Edgar Leslie/James V. Monaco, and recorded by Merrit Brunies & His Friar’s Inn Orchestra on Okeh 40593, 3/2/26
Note: these are the complete lyrics, from the piano roll version of the song. Not all versions contain all the lyrics.
Hey Hey women are going mad, today
Hey Hey fellers are just as bad, I’ll say
Go anywhere, just stand and stare
You’ll say they’re bugs when you
look at the clothes they wear
Masculine Women Feminine Men
which is the rooster which is the hen
It’s hard to tell ‘em apart today
And SAY...
Sister is busy learning to shave
Brother just loves his permanent wave
It’s hard to tell ‘em apart today
HEY HEY
Girls were girls and boys were boys
when i was a tot,
Now we don’t know who is who or
even what’s what
Knickers and trousers baggy and wide,
Nobody knows who’s walking inside
Those Masculine Women Feminine Men
Masculine Women Feminine Men
Which is the rooster which is the hen
It’s hard to tell ‘em apart today
And SAY...
Auntie is smoking, rolling her own,
Uncle is always buying cologne
It’s hard to tell ‘em apart today
HEY HEY
You go and give your girl a kiss in the hall
But instead you find you’re kissing
her brother Paul
Mama’s got a sweater up to her chin,
Papa’s got a girtle holding him in
Those Masculine Women Feminine Men
Stop, Look, Listen and you’ll agree... with me
Things are not what they used to be... you’ll see
You say hello to Uncle Joe,
Then look again and you find it’s your Aunti Flo
Masculine Women Feminine Men
Which is the rooster which is the hen
It’s hard to tell ‘em apart today
And SAY...
Wifey is playing billiards and pool,
Hubby is dressing kiddies for school
It’s hard to tell ‘em apart today
HEY HEY
Ever since the Prince of Wales in
dresses was seen,
What does he intend to be the King or the Queen
Grandmother buys those tailor-made clothes
Grandfather tries to smell like a rose
Those Masculine Women Feminine Men