Dear Sequoya,
You said: We all have to find our own way don’t we?
Yes we do. My father was a pastor...not a fake one either. He left the ministry after 15 years for exactly the reasons you mentioned. The “organized church” had become a machine and he saw nothing he could do would change it.
He also stopped going to church and simply read his Bible Sunday mornings (most days actually). He’d say “hey...we are already living in our church because our bodies house the Holy Spirit.” I liked that and still do. :)
It will start a controversy here and I don’t want to do that. What we do with our souls is a personal thing. The instructions are all in THE BOOK. Pointing someone to that is the obligation I have if they do not know about it. What we do with that is up to us.
There are lots of pastors who aren’t fake and work their hearts out doing what they believe is right. I have a great friend who is a pastor. I see him struggle and sacrifice for his church. I admire him but can’t join him. I will not throw pearls before swine and that is what so much of what he does seems like. Most of the flock is not worth my time.