To: Tax-chick; ThomasThomas; Gefn; Monkey Face; Darksheare
6,230 posted on
06/03/2015 3:20:20 PM PDT by
GeronL
(free short story: http://flscifi.blogspot.com/2015/05/free-short-story-proper-care-feeding-of.html)
To: GeronL
Too short.
You didn’t quite make the point you seemed to intend. A little more background, such as previous play activities that would drive home the strange nature of what “going outside to play” actually entailed, would have added to the sweet nature of the story.
6,231 posted on
06/03/2015 5:09:59 PM PDT by
NicknamedBob
(I could win the Lottery! It only slightly skews the odds against me somewhat that I don't play.)
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