I have a confession to make. I have been living a lie as an IT geek. To the very core of my being, I know without a doubt that I am a CIA assassin. Sometimes, late at night, when my family is asleep, I sneak out of the house and assassinate homeless people. I can’t help myself. They need killin’ and, anyway, it’s my real job. Don’t hate me.
I feel so much better. Thanks, y’all, for accepting the real me.