I am so, so sorry, billys kid... I can’t imagine. :(
I am also grieving, and I don’t like this “new normal” one bit. My only advice to you is to try to do something that makes you happy ( I plant or bake ), surround yourself with supportive people and try to eat, get some exercise and some sleep. Be kind to yourself and ignore anybody who tells you to “just get over it.”
I’ll leave you with the poem that I used for both my father and for my best friend’s eulogies. It’s beautiful and I hope that it will bring you some comfort. Wishing you peace and sending you a big hug.
Death is Nothing at All
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before only better, infinitely happier and forever we will all be one together with Christ.
Henry Scott Holland
Have you read the poem, “my first Christmas in Heaven” or something like that? Someone sent it to me after my daughter died in 04 and then someone sent me a different version in 2006 after my husband died.