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Dude, I can so much relate to you. I have neighbors like that too. For example, I was cutting my grass on Saturday morning this past autumn with my push-mower and raking my leaves so I could put them in the compost pile when suddenly my beautiful Saturday morning is disrupted by my most inconsiderate neighbor who fired up not only (gasp!) a GAS-powered lawn mower but then proceeded to rev up a very loud gas-powered LEAF BLOWER and spent over two hours walking up and down his lawn and blowing the leaves into the woods behind his house, absolutely choking the ability of the pine and oak trees in the forest to get water.

When he was done with his power mowing and his leaf blowing, why I just marched right over there and gave him a piece of my mind. I thought for sure I would make him feel all guilty about throwing all those carbons into the air and blowing all those leaves into the forest.

But instead, he copped an attitude and basically told me to mind my own business. He was such a brute about it. I hate him so much. I really, really hate him. I am hoping that he gets a very painful cancer and dies.

Then my other next-door neighbor, why he sits out on his back deck and smokes cigars. Sometimes when the wind is blowing right (or wrong), some of the cigar smoke gets into my yard, making my poodle cough and making my eyes water.

Well you guessed it, I marched right on over there and gave him a piece of my mind. But he wasn't apologetic at all. In fact, he used some very obscene words to me (that my poodle no doubt overheard).

Not only that, but he had a GAS grill fired up on his deck and he had all sorts of red meat on that grill. As a vegetarian, I was sick to my stomach. I told him that he really should not eat so much red meat and that he should consider changing his diet accordingly. Also, I pointed out that the propane gas heating his grill was potentially dangerous and not so good for our environment, as well as contributing to our global warming.

Instead of thanking me for my good advice, he got up off of his deck chair and said more obscene words and got really mean to me. He told me to get off his deck and never come back. To make matters worse, he then had out on his lawn yard signs for REPUBLICAN candidates! It's as if he was going out of his way to make my life a living hell. I hate him. I really, really hate him. I hope he gets lung cancer and has to get hooked up to one of those breathing machines and dies a slow, painful death.

I can also talk about the neighbors that live across the street from me and how I hate them as well. But I'm getting myself all worked up and I need to take a break from this computer for a while. I'm going to put some John Lennon on the stereo, make myself some seaweed soup and chill out for a while. I think I'll watch some Al Gore speeches on YouTube.