Do I speak Tortoise? I invented Tortoise.
Is that you!?!?!?
Nah, I don’t think you invented tortoise talk. I speak with a certain amount of authority, being the human handler of Zack and Mack, America’s favorite two-headed turtle. In fact, while I am here I will plug their book, The Smile Ambassadors, which can be had here: http://tinyurl.com/kwz3odo
The sequel, The Smile Thief, is being written right now.
Now, Zack and Mack and I have an agreement when it comes to story writing. They were such a nuisance at the desk by knocking over the can with pencils and walking all around the keyboard, that I agreed to play stenographer and take down the story and type it out for them.
Granted, they are not a tortoise, but in turtle talk, that is just a different dialect, if you will. Turtles have long had an oral tradition, heck, they even pre-date most dinosaurs. Pretty amazing little guys (and gals)