Yeah, I know the feeling, tx.
Earlier in my life I had a condition that caused chronic daily intense pain, and the condition was not treatable.
It caused me to do a lot of stupid stuff like trying to kill myself with pills.
I’m glad I didn’t though, because one day God saw fit to end my suffering. The pain just stopped. My days since then have been much better. I’m really glad to still be here.
I had another instance later on in life about 9 months to a year of extremely intense nerve pain, which is truly the worst pain I have ever felt.
That was treatable however thank God. But those experiences have shown me what people can go through, and how it affects the mind and body and soul.
I feel badly for this man.
God knew his heart, and there is always the chance (however slim) that it was an accidental suicide.
I’m glad you’re doing better. :) Pain and fear can cause us to do a lot of stupid, irrational things.