“Lets hope his kids are idiots. Because if they want to be engineers or doctors, they are SOL.”
If anyone’s kids are smart enough to become an doctor or engineer they are smart enough to find a way to pay for college. I am an scientist/engineer (PhD, multiple disciplines), my brother is a medical doctor (MD) and a PhD. Neither of us had our parents pay a single dime for college. My wife and his wife are both Masters’ degreed. Neither of their parents paid a dime for college, either. We’re those “rich white people” Obama and his racist minions talk about, yet, the value of an education on all of our children will be learned and not handed to them.
If anyone pays attention to trust funds and free college, the vast majority of trust funds are ran dry within a few years and most college graduates have no education or a job worthy of the expense of college. I know some “rich white people” paying for their kid’s college, but it isn’t working out as well as they thought it would.
Colleges are full of 25 year olds claiming “I only have two classes left”, and have made that claims for several years. Two of my close friends have kids that made the “two classes left” claim, yet, both kids at 26, haven’t graduated and are at least one semester away from any degree. They have friends who make the same claim. The sad and ironic thing is that both of their kids live at home and the parents are corporate managers; managers that can’t seem to manage their own kid’s spending their money.
Assisting a child as they bump around finding their way through college is one thing, paying a free ride is another. Very few children have the maturity to handle it. Some do, the vast majority don’t.
A lot of what you say is anecdotal. MOST kids attending college these days get done with minimal debt and within the normal range.
Sure, there are kids who take five or six years to graduate. There are kids that incur a ton of debt. There are parents that foot the bill.
That was really not the point of the discussion. At least my argument.
The point of the story was that the guy was “refusing” to save for his kids college. It wasn’t that he wasn’t “able” to save.
He has eight kids. This would not be a “story” if he simply said, “Hey, there are eight of you. I cannot afford to lay out any cash—we are living for this week!”
That happens every day.
His reason what that he felt college was not worth the cost or the effort. He suggested the paper was not worth the cost.
We could have a debate on the “theory” he presents. But unfortunately we know that many positions will not even look at you without a degree. So the kids are in a tough spot.
Furthermore, I proposed that a parents responsibility to their child is to provide them with a foundation that will let them succeed in life. This is not a “money” thing either. Parents should help their children take advantage of every opportunity to achieve their future.
This doesn’t mean paying for college, per se. It means helping them navigate the process to move from dependence to independence. If the ability to assist financially is there, so be it. If not, help the kid find the resources: Working, going to school part time, encouraging Community College or apprenticeship, ROTC, etc.
The tone of the man in the article is pretty much, “F You, kids. I am done helping.”
I read the tone to be selfish. Perhaps other see it as “tough love.”
You will notice that I have not interjected my personal experience to this point. Most every other post starts with “I paid for my college.” Since I already stated my opinion, let me give you some background.
I started working when I was twelve. I was expected to pay for my college. In the 1970’s I did four years in a private college. My parents foot the bill for about $500 a semester. They also helped me pay for books. I left college in debt about $7,200—probably the equivalent of $25,000 today.
I was the fourth of four kids. By the time my “turn” came around, they were out of gas—financially and emotionally. Both of my parents were middle level managers and made pretty good money for the day. By the time I came along for college they were more focused on building their dream house and retirement than they were in supporting my college plans.
I did not complain. I did not fight about it. It was just the way it was. I made it on my own. I graduated and made a great career. I was in that proverbial top 3% of income. I retired at 42 to start my own company. I sold it last year and I am retired again. Retired as in, I don’t have to work for several years. Once I hit 59.5, I can walk away when I want. Forever.
I take care of my mom now. And my mother in law, who has lived with my family since her husband died 23 years ago.
My children worked through their college experiences. One took an extra year to get a double major. She graduated about a month ago, and had a job within 3 weeks. She will be official off the dole when she gets her first paycheck next week. She did the first two years in community college. No debt. She paid for it.
The other works a job, works at the school, and works all summer. She also gets fantastic grades. Her scholarship, work study, and minimal loans (about $5 per year) means my out of pocket expense last semester at a Top Tier Private School was $812.
Pocket change.
As a first semester senior she already has three job offers. One for $45 an hour. This is with a Fine Arts degree.
So, I know what you all mean. I lived the world you and others are suggesting. Self-made is the term.
I will be honest, I resent the lack of support I got from my parents when I needed it. Not financial support, but the emotional support that the guy in the article demonstrates. I was completely on my own through the entire process. I had been accepted for college for two weeks before they noticed the letter on the countertop.
To suggest it was a “tough love” situation is an understatement. I was fed. I was housed. And, up until I was 12, I was clothed by them.
I am not whining. It was what it was. I came to terms with their lack of support years ago. It makes me angry to think about it, but I worked it out of my system years ago.
But, do I resent writing the check for my mother’s assisted living accommodations every month because their dream house turned into a nightmare? You bet I do. But I do it because the bible commands me to.
But, as my wife has said, no one but her (my wife) knows how much I hate it. Because its my job, as a child who can help, to help.
Ever since I became a Dad I knew it was my job to provide a role model for my children. I KNOW they have flourished because of the support and encouragement I’ve given them.
They are not, as one of these guys posted, “drunk rich kids” fumbling their way through college. They share the focus, discipline and determination I had as a child. When that is combined with true love, encouragement, problem solving, and yes, financial support they will be years ahead of their peers when they get out of college.
So, I don’t disagree that there are people who hand their kids everything. The live around me. My kids laugh at them because once they get into an independent environment they do not have the skills to survive.
In conclusion, I think the guy in the article is a selfish fool. Not because he won’t pay for his kids college—but because he is clearly not involved with what its going to take for each of his eight kids to be successful.
We all know the new parents who say “I won’t ever let me kids do that.” We also know that kind of mind set will not last two weeks in the real world. That is how I see these guys.
I read posts with a lot of “this is how I got through school, and if it was good enough for me, it will be good enough for them.....” But those posts are usually from people who don’t have kids, or whose kids are already gone and don’t call.
And finally, every other poster on here suggests the Military as a route to college. The military is not available to a lot of kids. The military is not a good fit for a lot of kids.
My oldest daughter looked into the military. She ACED the ASVAB, as I did, in high school. Aced it, as in no incorrect answers. The military options for college expenses were only marginally better than her scholarship options. The length of the obligations were prohibitive for the difference in money. She chose to take the scholarships.
In conclusion, I think many readers of this thread completely missed the point of the article.
The point, as I read it, was that this guy did not value a college education and therefore he wasn’t going to pay for it. It was not that he could not afford it. It was a principled stance. I think that stance is too limiting and it doesn’t consider the overall well being of his children.