“...Och, lad, I don’t know where ye been but ye must have won first prize.”
And of course I must share the old story of Angus, the Scotsman who went out for a night of drinking. Many beers later, he staggered outside and then passed out in a park not far from the pub. Two young tourist ladies happened by an hour later and saw him snoring away. One said to the other, “Do you think it’s true what they say about Scotsmen and their kilts?”
“Let’s find out,” the other giggled. They did, and saw that the man was indeed wearing nothing at all under his kilt. As a joke, one of the girls then took off her blue hair ribbon and tied it around Angus’s cock.
He awoke in the morning with a splitting headache and a full bladder. As he reached under his kilt and prepared to relieve himself, he saw the ribbon and said, “Och, I don’t know where ye’ve been, lad, but I see ye won first prize!”